When I started writing over a decade ago, I was eager to connect with other authors.
I read books about how important it is to build a network. I also read online advice about how to connect with your peers so you can grow together.
In my experience, this is bad advice.
From all the people that I’ve connected with and became “online friends” with, there’s only one guy I still talk to.
The rest were all insincere.
And I don’t blame anyone because this is the culture that we’ve created.
We are obsessed with “the next.”
The next promotion. The next vacation. The next weekend. The next notification.
We live our lives as if we’re in a waiting room for this big event that never actually starts.
Because we are always looking ahead, we are never actually here.
This is the ultimate thinking mistake: The belief that life is something that happens later.
When you live this way, time evaporates.
You wake up on a Monday, blink, and it’s Friday. You celebrate New Year’s, blink, and it’s October.
If you feel like life is moving too fast, it’s because you aren’t living it.
You’re just ruminating on it.
I want to share a theory I’ve been developing for years.
Most of our problems are not real. They’re linguistic.
They exist in the words you use to describe your situation, not in the situation itself.
In other words, if you change your words, you can make your problems go away.
Because what if the things you label as problems are not even problems in the first place?
I know that might sound too simple.
Stay with me.
I’ll never forget a moment early in my career at an IT research firm.
I’d been there a few months. Quiet, observant, still figuring out my place.
Then one day, sitting in a meeting, I had an idea. In my mind, I was already imagining myself sharing my genius idea and looking at all the impressed faces.
So I waited for the right moment, and I said it.
I got nothing. Literally no response at all.
The conversation just moved on like I hadn’t said a word.