3 min read
I’ll be happy when I make six figures. I’ll be happy when I have a partner. I’ll be happy when I move to a big city. I’ll be happy when I have a rich social life.
These are some of the things I used to think. Can you relate to that? It’s called conditional happiness. We all do it.
You can spot conditional happiness when you use “if” or “when.” X depends on Y. But what if X is an independent factor? What if X is not conditional?
You can replace X with any esoteric pursuit in life: Happiness, meaning, fulfillment, tranquility, inner peace, purpose—or any new age term people are using to explain that they simply want to be happy.
3 min read
A while back, I noticed that I became restless when I couldn’t work out or go to the gym. I was so used to working out that I made it a part of my identity. I couldn’t let go of it.
Do you know what that feels like? It’s the same when you can’t stick to any one of your habits—good or bad. Waking up early, reading, meditating, journaling, you name it.
What happens if we can’t stick to our good habits? We become restless. That’s harmful behavior because you’re not fully free. I mentioned the working out example to my friends recently, and every single one of them who worked out regularly could relate.
4 min read
Sometimes a small thing disturbs me that causes a negative thought loop. Somebody might say something that rubs me the wrong way. I might get a minor injury that prevents me from working out. Something at work might go wrong.
Do you know that feeling? Before you know it, you’re questioning everything about your life, career, health, or relationship.
You do everything to resist the situation. You try to fix it. You feel compelled to address the disturbance. But here’s the thing, you don’t control the disturbance.