The dialogue about happiness has not changed much for the past 3000 years since ancient Greek and Roman times.
But people pretend that everything has changed and that more people are unhappy than ever. That’s supposed to be because we’re more connected than ever.
You read it all the time. “Technology makes people feel lonely and depressed!”
I agree that technology itself has changed. But human nature has not. People have been unhappy, lonely, miserable, and sad since the start of modern civilization. We still ask ourselves questions like:
I bet that you’re extrapolating your perceptions all the time. Let me give you a few examples and tell whether I’m wrong.
- “House prices will probably keep increasing.”
- “That person will never change.”
- “My business will keep growing.”
- “I will never learn from my mistakes.”
- “He doesn’t like me.”
We often have these type of thoughts multiple times a day. The root of this problem is our quick judgment.
Humans are very fast thinkers. But how fast do we even think?
Scientists have quantified the speed of light and sound, but when it comes to thoughts, it’s not that easily measured.
Money doesn’t make you happy. And yet, we need it to live. So what do we do? Try hard to make more money? Or, be content with what we have?
The problem is that both options come with high costs.
We’ve all heard about the research that says you won’t be happier if you earn more than $75K or some other magic figure.
We’ve all heard about these studies by now. And yet, it doesn’t make a bit of impact on the way we live.
At least, those findings never changed the way I chased money in my life. And neither did it change anyone I personally know.
The problem with these averages is that they are averages. And yet, mindless writers keep quoting this research that says money doesn’t make you happy.
People who claim that setting goals are a bad thing are out of their minds. They probably set some goals in the past, failed, and never set a goal again.
I know there’s a lot of confusion about goals and systems these days. I’ve contributed to the confusion as well.
A lot of us share the idea that you either have a system or set goals.
But thinking “this or that” is not helpful because it limits our beliefs. I know this because I used to think that way too. But then, I learned that many things in life could be this and that.
So in this article, I’ll explain why goals and systems complement each other, and why I have both.
Are you currently in a good mood or a bad mood?
Now, let me ask you another question: How is your day? I bet that you’re having a bad day if you’re in a bad mood, and a good day if you’re in a good mood.
That’s obvious, right? But here’s the thing; since it has such a big impact on the quality of our lives, why aren’t we managing our mood better? Because let’s face it, we shouldn’t let a bad mood ruin our day.
And yet, I never hear people about managing their mood. We all assume that our mood is influenced by outside factors. Things that we do not control.
Do you ever get upset about the nasty behavior of your co-workers, friends, or even family? Well, if you let others upset you, it’s not their fault.
“It’s not me, it’s him!” is what most of us say. We’re always quick to blame others for how we feel.
We say that others make us feel that way. But that’s false. You decide how you feel about the things that happen in your life.
Events can’t harm us. Our perception of an event harms us. That’s one of the most important ideas of Stoic philosophy.
In other words, you decide what meaning you give to the things that happen in your life. If your friend tells lies about you behind your back, and you get upset, that’s because you decided to get upset.
I’ve got a simple question for you: Who are you?
Look, this is not a job interview or any type of interview.
I’m not looking for a politically correct answer. “I’m a person who’s serious about his career. I like to spend time with my family and friends.” That’s true for every single person who is determined enough to have a job.
No, I’m talking about who you truly are — deep down.
Because let’s face it, you and I both know that we all have two personalities, who live two different lives.