Hi! Welcome to DariusForoux.com. Feel free to share your story, questions, thoughts, with me (and other readers) in the comments below.
- Who are you?
- Why are you here?
- What have you learned that you’d like to share with readers?
- Have you created something useful?
- Or just say hi and share how you got here, of all places?
You can share your thoughts if you scroll down to the bottom of this page. Just start typing and hit “Post Comment”!
That’s all! Looking forward to reading your story.
You know, you not only send us wonderful articles, but you do send links to few awesome, interesting and great books to read. I really like that.
Keep going, keep rocking !!!
I appreciate that, Job! Thanks for the support.
Great work Darius . good job . keep on. G. B.
First time reading your thoughts. Love the most recent article re: decisions. FYI, minor typo in “laughing our assess” off…
Thanks for letting me know! Corrected it.
Hello Johnny here was wondering does anyone have any good tips of some good stock or mutual funds that are “really Good” ? Thanks…
Hey ! I’m Julian from France. I love reading your blog because it make me feel confident about the future and it makes me harness my fear of the unknown. Thanks to this blog I’ve learned to create my path with confidence doing the things I love. Also I’ve launched my business that I was to afraid to launch since many years ;). Thanks again and pleasure to read all your coming stuff to embrace the future.
Happy to hear that, Julian! Let us know how it goes with your business. Feel free to share it here whenever you want.
a bit obvious question – how to join? where is link or something?
Hey Greg, there’s nothing you can join. I’m not into Facebook groups and stuff like that. I don’t see the value of daily communication. However, I do see a lot of value in getting to know readers. And you can do that right here, in the comments. Feel free to share your thoughts or respond to other people. That’s all. I like to keep things simple.
Hey Darius and Friends!
I’m a strategist and entrepreneur who found Darius via Medium just about a year ago (had to check, but it was last October!).
I was drawn in very quickly by his writing both because the topics were relevant to my interests, but more importantly the style. I really enjoy how accessible and straight forward Darius is with his thoughts. In a the space of business and personal improvement, it’s easy to skew technical or preachy and Darius never suffers from that.
That recent article on compounding is a great example. Straight forward and clear, which makes it easy to apply to your own situation.
For me, the compounding effect really rang true in terms of networking. I’ve been focusing much more on this over the past few months and had many important reminders of how powerful our relationships with others can be. It’s completely obvious, but every person you connect with has their own network, so every strong connection you make has the potential to open up a whole new world of opportunities.
Even knowing how valuable that asset is — maybe the most valuable asset you can have in business and life in general — it’s easy to neglect it when you’re juggling a million other things.
This community page is a perfect place to add a new facet to that network.
To share something with the community, my company works with founders and entrepreneurs and we have tons of free resources on our site to help with the most common problems we see folks facing: Defining you big picture vision, product/market fit, brand communication, business validation.
If you go to our site and click on any of those topics, you’ll be able to download free worksheets on that topic:
Happy to hear feedback on them too!
Thanks for setting this up Darius!
Hey Clay! I’ve following you on Twitter too. Thanks for the support!
Great example about the compounding! Networking is something I want to focus on more in the future too. A good network has huge value. Thanks for sharing man.
And I like how you linked to your company. Hope folks get value out of it.
Clay & Darius – thank you both for all that you do and contribute. For start-up, non profits – you are both a gift. Visit my most recent project at dailysober.com.
Hi Darius, I’m Sam from UK and I’ve been following your blog mostly because of the productivity topics and insights you provide to help get more out of my life (personally and professionally).
I’m developing a platform that we hope will encourage collaboration and accountability amongst likeminded people so that we can support you in going after your interests and goals constructively.
The primary lesson I’ve learned from your content is to refine the things that are positive in my life and focus on my strengths to be the most productive I can be. Very liberating.
Looking forward to reading more from you Darius and connecting with other likeminded readers in the community!
Keep up the great work!
Thanks, Sam! Good to hear you’re working on building something. Feel free to share more about your project here whenever you like!
I have been wanting to write articles from past few days, but I feel blank once I put few words on paper, I start to worry about grammar or sentence formation and give up each time. Can you help me with this. What’s the better way to learn writing.
I love your idea of connecting with readers.
You must keep on writing. Also read a lot so that you get ideas and perspectives that you can use in your writings. If you are afraid of grammar and style you can use software like Grammarly. Other writing aids are also there. You have to search for them. The bottom line is never stop writing.Nobody is a perfect writer, especially in the beginning.
I always remind myself of the classic Epictetus quote: “If you want to be a writer, write.” Writing is about your message, not the grammar. So I’ve trained myself not to worry about that stuff. If some know-it-alls comment on your grammar mistakes, they’re not your audience anyway.
So, there’s only one way to learn writing: By writing more.
Hi Darius, first of all thank you so much for your inspiring writing. I’m Judith from the Netherlands and I try to read as much as possible as well as write a little bit (if only for 5 minutes a day) in the daily hustle and bustle of a job and a family life with young kids. I think this comment is recognizable, except I don’t feel blank when writing because the words come pouring out. But it doesn’t have a purpose (yet). Since a few weeks I have been writing almost daily. I feel a huge urge to write, but I get distracted by thoughts like: for whom do I actually write this? Is this publishable? Is it original? Is it even readable? Hasn’t this been written by someone else already? What is the benefit of this writing (for anyone)? I’m thinking about starting a blog, but have so many doubts. What should it even be about? Do you have any tips to deal with thoughts like that (or maybe you’ve already written a post I missed about this subject)? How do I get more purpose/direction in my writing?
Thanks for this great opportunity to connect with others!
I feel the same, Judith. Very recognizable. All writers I’ve talked to deal with the same questions. So it’s safe to say that’s a part of being a writer ;) You have to learn to manage your inner dialogue. My book, Win Your Inner Battles, is about that. Being a good writer is the only one part of the equation, overcoming self-doubt is the other part.
And, I recently wrote about Imposter Syndrome (https://dariusforoux.com/overcome-imposter-syndrome/) In that article I talk about question’s like “What is the benefit of this writing (for anyone)?”
Btw, writing daily is a pretty big deal. So that’s good. Now, it’s all about keeping up the momentum. Also, I’m working on an article about how you can start a blog in a day. That might help too.
Thanks for bringing that article to my attention Darius, I didn’t get the chance to read that yet. Very useful! I’m looking forward to reading your article about the blog as well. Thanks for inspiring me! I’ll keep at it.
Think WHY you’re writing. What is your message that will change the world? Is there something you HAVE TO say that the world may not hear from anyone else? Do you want to make this world a better place? If so, write. You’ll get better by practicing your craft each day. Start out by free writing and don’t worry about sentence structure. There’s someone out there who needs YOUR voice. Be brave.
Hey Judith! I remember being there and asking myself, “What if I’m just repeating what others have said?” But I wrote anyway because what I wrote was something I couldn’t find elsewhere, not from the “practical” standpoint, but from the standpoint of experiences, life struggles and overcoming our fears daily. I remember the first time I got a comment. A person told me that he knew exactly how it felt and he thanked me for writing about my experiences as an online teacher. A few months into blogging, I decided to repurpose some of my blog posts into a book, and 30 people from the Internet bought it. Those were the people I’d never met before. I didn’t know them, but apparently what I wrote mattered enough for them to pay me. It was a small beginning of my small business. I’m sure you have something to say that your reader needs, but in order to find your reader I believe you have to connect with the person inside you, her wealth and her talent, and share courageously. I’d also say to think of your very best friend, write down what she feels like when she reads your blog post, how you could talk to her and what you could share with her that would matter to her only. That makes it easier to connect with your readers in the future. All the best to you!
Thank you for taking the time to write this comment, it’s good to know I’m not the only one dealing with these kind of doubts. I like the tip to write for a friend, I’ll do that!
Hi everyone :D I just wanted to tell all of you that I hope you will read what I have written on my blog.
I am from Romania :) I am glad I came across with this page :P
Feel free to follow me along my journey !
This is Saurabh from India.
Darius’s articles about Procrastination helped me to leave my previous job in difficult situations that I created by procrastinating. I’m happy to inform you Darius that I’ve successfully moved on in my life and now working in product management (which I love!). Thanks a ton.
Keep writing. Keep Inspiring!
Happy to hear that, Saurabh! All credit goes to yourself. Knowledge is only good if you act on it. And you’ve acted. I love that.
I found your articles on medium early last year around March and I’ve been reading them on and off since. You introduced me to stoicism which I will forever be indebted to you for since It’s been a life changer for me. It’s also awesome to see how you’ve grown both writing wise and in the content you’re providing. Wishing you all the very best and further productivity!
Hey Amelle! Very happy to hear that. I still practice Stoicism daily. It really is a life changer. And thanks for the support.
My name is Czl (Cécile). I am a type designer from Costa Rica. Basically, I draw letters.
I’ve found a tremendous amount of value in Darius’ writing. I love learning new things every day — but with the amount of information disguised in people trying to sell you stuff, I find it every day harder to come across new knowledge and information and ideas.
All of the amazing content here has helped me focus on what matters. So skimming through the web to find good material becomes a task I look forward to (which is crucial to me, as I am an independent learner and my education relies on what I can learn online). I have also learned many things to keep my daily life harmonious — my career, my husband, our business, even managing the house. I love learning about productivity, philosophy, and focus.
The advice here is amazing, and I’m really looking forward to learning about other people here!
My biggest advice, for everyone, is:
Consume less, play more!
Stop mindlessly watching TV or social media or magazines. Start drawing, dancing, playing, making music or art or sports or making healthy food. Do anything you want — as long as it’s play and not consumption, you’re doing yourself and the world a favor :)
I also want to share what I do, for anyone interested, at http://dribbble.com/czllebleu or at instagram @czl.lebleu . Our website is under construction, I might post it here too when it’s ready :)
With love, Czl Lebleu
Hey Czl! Really like your work. And thanks again for the tips you gave me about typography a while back. Very useful and my site looks a lot better now.
I’ve been following your journey since the beginning, really enjoying the process of your writing unfolding and the topics that come to mind. It’s crazy how often I am ruminating on a subject that I feel almost alone in working through, and the following morning I get your email with some sound logic that often reassures me about my perspective even if nobody else around me is willing to think critically.
I’m a web developer and digital marketing strategist, but I spend a lot less time on my own projects lately because I’ve been focused on creating revenue streams through ecommerce and developing funnels for my consulting work. I plan to return to my “center” after a few years of yearning in the career hunt (mostly failed) and begin writing some of my own material and even put together some courses. I always appreciate being able to follow other peoples’ journey as they branch out online and I’ve been preparing myself for quite a while to do something similar.
There are so many voices out there but so few of them are coming from a true source and connecting with the important issues in life for the thinkers out there. Thanks again for putting your message out there!
Digital Marketing Agency: http://metonymy.org
That’s awesome, John. Thanks for the support! And let me know how it goes with your business.
Happy Saturday ?
I just wanted to say thank you because your articles and tips have helped me become more productive and organized.
I really enjoy your your stories. You inspired me to read more and write more.
Thank you for sharing your story and keep up the awesome work.
That’s awesome, Pawan. Thanks for sharing and keep up the momentum ?
I always read your mail blogs. Refresh my day.
I appreciate that, Ankush!
Hi…I am an artist and visionary executive who has for years proposed to my colleagues that staying positive keeps the creative mind receptive to bigger ideas and energy. I find in Darious’ messages a similar mindset. ..which I like to share with other artists. Done are artists with words…I repurpose Styrofoam to create sculptures of color using acrylics and pentil pens….as a conceptual artist. We are all artists of a certain nature.
Thanks for sharing! Like you view!
I meant SOME are artists with words…
Darius, thank you for putting together this platform, and thank you for sharing your insights through your blog and courses. One of the most powerful posts you’ve written is Your Work Matters. In fact, I’ve printed that post out and now go back to it and read it on a regular basis.
I love the concept of efficiency and usefulness because they remind me why I chose to be in business in the first place – to make meaning.
My friend and I are writing a book that will inspire online teachers and coaches to run their businesses from the core, and one of Darius’s posts helped me find the right wording for the book: http://www.optedoutlife.com
Happy to hear that you liked that post, Elena. And good to see you’re making a contribution with your work.
I am Jay–I am a London based web designer and a self-development enthusiast.
I was introduced to Medium by a colleague of mine last year. This is where I found Darius. I found his style of his writing and content compelling and had to immediately ‘follow’ him.
For the past six months, my passion for writing has grown. In fact, writing is something I had always wanted to do. However, there were two significant challenges: English wasn’t my strongest language of the three I knew. Secondly, I didn’t know how to write articles and write them effectively. I lacked the knowledge and confidence required to write.
After doing some research on the topic, and additionally taking up the course on Effective Writing by Darius, last week I managed to publish my very first article: https://goo.gl/E6DZRK
I am deeply grateful to Darius for sharing nuggets of knowledge for both–compelling writing, and self-improvement.
It would be nice to stay connected with you all!
Thanks for sharing, Jay! Very happy to hear this. And I also really like your article. Good stuff! Hope you keep writing. Stay in touch mate.
Hey Darius! I’m Gráinne and I’m a content marketing manager for Buckets.co. I came across your work when I was looking for some productivity inspiration :) What really drew me in was your writing style and your “zero fluff” approach to getting the right information out there in a way that’s really simple for people to apply in everyday life. I also love that you really *are* what you write about and the majority of your articles come from actual personal experience and growth. I’m looking forward to reading more, and it’d be great to collaborate with you some time!
Hey Gráinne! I always appreciate that you share my articles. And thanks for contributing. We’ll definitely stay in touch!
Hey folks. :)
I am Ivan, I’m a IPMA certified Account Manager for a Silicon Valley startup, but more importantly, I’m an aspiring artist. :)
I graduated from 3 musicals schools (piano, guitar & solo singing), am studying production and working hard to make better opportunities for realizing my dreams, here in LA. Hopefully, y’all we’ll get to see me out there one day.
I’ve been with Darius almost since the beginning and what made him stand out is the fact that he actually interacts with all of us and is super organized. Some of his stuff played in part in shaping my own present, creating my own systems and becoming more self aware, overcoming some obstacles, while creating a foundation for a great future.
And he knows this, as I reach out to him every time after particularly liking an article. :D
If anybody wants to know more and/or connect, hit me up on Facebook/Linkedin, wherever. I am Ivan (Grande) Devedzic.
Hey man! Awesome to see you’re getting after it in LA! Impressed with your drive.
Thanks for the support and we’ll stay in touch. Also, let me know whenever you’ve published music!
This is Anitha .hope all is well with you.
Last Sunday I took my son for a dance practice which we community woman do annually for Halloween.ibwas down with allergies but since I committed to it I tool medication and also took some home grown fresh eggplants to share with the woman and snacks for the kids.once I got there within minutes a lady intentionally started picking on me saying oh u are always busy as if we are sitting idle what do you do Blah blah blah for 10 to 15 mins by that time I started feeling sick all over my body everthing from head to toe started hurting did not understand what going on she dumped the shit all over for me pick up.i am so hurt but I still stayed all through the practice gave her the egg plants I took and came home.but now I feel so down and hurt thinking what made her pick on me because I was always there for her so while searching for answers got to your blog it’s helping me a lot so some piece of advice to just help me to reach my peace
Thank you and take care
Hey Anitha! Glad to hear my blog has been helpful. Your story reminds me of this quote by Marcus Aurelius: “Choose not to be harmed — and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed — and you haven’t been.” I like to remind myself that no one can hurt you if you don’t let them.
I’m Gloria from Nigeria. I stumbled on your article last year on an app called ‘Pocket’. Ever since I’ve been an ardent follower and I always look forward to your mails in my inbox. I totally appreciate you.
My best article is the one I read recently about compounding: doing too many things at a time and thereby spreading myself too thin. It was for me. I’ve been doing that not because I felt like a super human but because I need success badly: I’m trained as an Administrator and I run two businesses; a Writing and Editing Business and a Clothing Business. Now you may have an insight on how my schedules gets messed up most times.
The article was timely. I’m restrategising. Thank you for always giving me something to look forward to. I like how practical your articles are. I make sure I share your posts with every friend I hold dear to my heart. I can’t be selfish to keep all these knowledge to myself.
That’s awesome, Gloria! I love the Pocket app. Thanks for the support! And let me know how it goes with your business.
Hi Darius, My name is Kay, I first want to THANK YOU so much for the great articles you write. I think I have read all your articles since June 2016. At the time I was going through a tough time of not knowing what the next step was for me. Your articles among other inspirational people and factors were essential to give my life direction. Like yourself, I thrive on leading a productive life, doing something useful/helpful for self/others, and learning new things. One of the best things I learned from your articles that among others helped with my productivity, was starting a journal. Journaling daily and setting weekly, monthly and yearly goals, helped me to focus and refocus, and reflect on my life more frequently.
In addition to teaching Yoga, I recently started a business that reflects on my passion for training, and helping others to have a better and happier life. I offer decluttering/tidying services. As you know and mentioned in one of your articles: Declutter Your Life, Declutter Your Mind, clutter creates a dark cloud over our life. Tidying our life will result in a tidier mind, better decisions and a happier life. It feels like paradise to live in a tidy place. That’s why I offer my services under the title: Tidy Paradise. I want to help my clients bring home the joy of paradise and experience a peaceful and happy life. Thank you again. Please visit me at: tidyparadise.com and let me know if I can be of help.
Thanks for contributing, Kay! Really like your mission! We share the same perspective on clutter ? Your website also looks great. Best of luck and lets stay in touch.
Hi! I’m Melanie. I live in Oregon, USA. I am a writer and have a small blog where I write on a range of topics including eating disorder recovery, depression, parenting, healthy living, and more. I’d like to write a book one day. I’m here because I just love reading your articles Darius. I first read your work on the Medium and found your site that way. Your writing inspires me. It helps me feel like my writing isn’t a waste of time and that writing a book is an achievable goal. So thank you for doing what you do!
Thank you for sharing yourself with us and providing both the answers I needed and something I can aspire to. Just a big thanks after reading the first few articles I stumbled upon which are coaxing me out of that ‘imposter syndrome’. I look forward to digging through your blog a little more!
Hey Sonja! Welcome! I’m glad you enjoyed the articles. Hope it helps!
I am reading, and using a 2X4 up side my head about every other page, your Straight Thinking book. By the way, thanks for the give-a-way … anyway, I came across two rather conflicting passages in the book, and am wondering if I just read them incorrectly.
The first stated that, “My girlfriend wanted to travel the world and live in different countries. I hate that idea.” But then you stated, “For example, I always wanted to travel the world and live in different countries”, further along in the book.
I am totally confused, but trying hard not to think about it too much.
You misquoted me. I wrote: “I always thought I wanted to travel the world and live in different cities.” Obviously, I didn’t like that after I tried it. Hence, “thought.”
OPS!!! I had intended to make an appointment with the Eye doctor a few weeks ago but, procrastination and my feeble brain won out. I guess that job is on the books for today! Thanks again for the insight into the mind and my side issue of procrastination. bobb
Darius, awesome job on the book. Thank you so much for sharing it for free. I was able to connect to so many thoughts. Specifically, confirmation bias and heuristics, since I am a software tester and that comes into play. I love getting your updates. It lets me know that I m not alone and others have similar thoughts and are just trying to live a good life and be happy. You have inspired me a lot since I started reading your content over a year ago.
I recently used your 10 steps to building a blog. Thank you so much. it saved me a ton of time. I am so guilty of getting stuck on details and style. So I took all your advice. It went live just a few days ago. http://www.basicmoneytalk.com/
I hope you continue to enjoy your new challenges and continue to write to us.
That’s awesome, Rich! Thanks for sharing. Very happy to hear that you started your blog. Looks really cool. Let me know how it goes!
Thanks for your articles and tips about life. It’s really useful for me.
And I decided to write a journey starting from today.
That’s great, Thu! Keep it up.
I absolutely love your works. Here and on Medium. Every Article has something valuable to offer.
Also, I love the animated images you use. I was never good with drawings. This feels pure art. Which software are you using?
I appreciate that, Clifford! I draw the images on an iPad pro with apple pencil with Adobe Sketch.
Have you ever dealt with a difficult worker who is constantly angry and calls people an idiot in front of them once in a long while for no reason? He also talks allot of nonsense showing his immaturity and acts like a spoiled child. Most of the people at work would just ignore him but I did that a first. His ignorance pisses me off to the point of giving him the full insult treatment to put him in his spot. He doesnt learn so I would do it again. He doesnt do it often but when he does, I no longer ignore and say something. One time I put him in his spot, we didnt talk for almost 2 months. After that, he quit. He really is a big immature idiot with issues.
I wondered if you ever dealt with someone like that or anyone and how you would respond to that in that scenario and trying not to quit?
Hey Dan. One of my mentors (who employs more than 500 people) once told me that the key to building a great team is to hire nice people. And at our family business, we have the same policy. So we don’t hire assholes just because they are great at their job. So, fortunately, I haven’t dealt with those type of situations. And if I did, I would probably fire that person instead of persuading him not to quit. Hope that helps.
Thanks for reply, I didn’t talk to the guy very much. He was full of drama so I tend to stay away. By the way, keep up the good work. I like your articles.
Your articles are very practical and sensible. I have a dilemma to share. I am successfully running my own Image Consulting (Makeovers & Personality Engineering) business from the last five years (career change at 30) and have build a good Image. I am already 35 years old and would like to diversify into something similar (celeb styling) which will help me grow my business more in the long run. However, for me to be able to add this new skill set into my current business and gain connections, the traditional route is to intern with someone senior in the industry and start from the bottom of the rung. Though I am ready to do that, keeping my ego aside, people do not want to hire me at this stage as they’re looking for folks in 20’s who can do the running around. Hence, I’m finding it difficult to make inroads in this new space. Seeking your advice.
Congrats, Jasmine. That’s a great accomplishment.
I would take a step back and ask, why do you want to go into celeb styling? Is it because you want earn more? There are always other ways. Or, is it because you love that field?
Also, I wouldn’t look at the traditional path. Similar to Blue Ocean Strategy, I think it’s good to look at how you can do things differently. How can you disrupt the industry?
If something doesn’t work, adjust. If we keep doing that, we achieve our goals eventually.
I was reading one of your articles about studying idiots and it reminds me of my two friends who deal with these idiots at their work. One would constantly call him an idiot in front of him including other people from time to time and the other a dipstick or something like that. I remember talking to my friends in a same bar and they both don’t say anything at all in front of those idiots.
They would hear those insults and wouldn’t think of it as an insult but do two things. 1. They would ignore it completely plus think them as nothing and 2. They would study those guys.
In the end, they pretty much know their issues and felt good about themselves witgout saying anything in return.
It’s quite an article!
I guess from their methods, learning from idiots can take you far. Just remember that its only business according to one of them. It’s amazing what one can learn from them, what do tou think?
Agree. It’s just one method of learning. There are hundreds of ways to learn. The point I’m trying to make is this: we can learn from everyone.
It is sooooo strange how I came across your article on Repetition….GREAT article by the way. I turned on my computer and your web address was in my browser. I started to click out of it but I started reading your article and was HOOKED..lol. I am sure it was meant for me to read it.
I have started a web site more of a blog site, geared toward a place where people can come and get inspired. I was on the verge of giving up but I am going to keep going…reading your article helped a lot. One of the poems I have on my site is Never Give Up…I need to read it over and over..repetition!!!
The reason for me starting my site is I have been through a lot in my life and I want to be able to inspire others that are having struggles/challenges in their life. My website is not complete but I felt it I did not launch my site, I would have continued to procrastinate.. therefore, I took the plunge and launched and will continue to make changes.
I would love to share some of your articles on my website… please let me know if its ok. Keep up the good work!!!
That’s awesome, Jaye! Great timing. And I’m glad you like the blog. Sure, feel free to share. Good luck with your site. And let me know here on the Community page when it’s online.
Great stuff. It’s as if I am reading what I want to become in 5 years. Hopefully sooner. I just hit the 100 unique users mark on my blog and it has energized me to do more. I am in the infant stages of my blog and working in the same niche. Timeliness is one of my core ideas behind what I deliver. I see that you have the same idea as well.
That’s awesome! Good to hear you’re excited. Keep in touch.
Hi Darius…I am a first time reader of your site, and much to my delight can encourage everyone here that it works! I am 78 years old, and have followed the ideas and pathway you advocate, without knowing that I would find someone else who thought the way i do. I always knew i wanted to travel and see the world, and realized i needed a good job, to make that happen.
A college degree in Communication Arts with a teaching certificate was my first step. My first teaching job was in California in the 60’s. I enjoyed teaching, had a wonderful department head that got me through all the pitfalls of a first year of teaching; I really learned a lot about handling a classroom. I realized within six months, however, that I did not want to wait until i retired to travel, but having minimal financial resources i had to find a job that would pay my way to my adventure.
I got a job teaching English with a private non-profit group, and took off for South east Asia. I went to Asia with the assumption that i would most likely never marry, as finding someone in their 20’s who had a vision of a life of adventure was not very likely. I loved working in a small village north of Saigon, living on the local economy, making friends with many Vietnamese friends, some who i am still in touch with 55 years later.
I also met my future husband, an American Army pilot who was stationed in the area. He loved adventure also, and together we had a 50 year marriage, before he passed away. the love of my life and my best friend. Being a pilot, both fixed wing and helicopter rated, reading speaking and writing Mandarin Chinese, and being a good man, made it very easy for my husband to find work, after retiring from the Army; he was still in his 30’s. We lived in Nepal, where I taught at the American School, and held private English classes for those Nepalese interested in learning English. It was my way of getting to know and love the local people.
From Nepal we went to Laos for five years. During all this time I was visiting museums, learning about different cultures, and traveling the world, Europe, Africa and South America. It was ten years of adventure, positive experiences and fun! Now don’t misunderstand, there were a lot of challenges, such as health issues; I managed to get almost every disease except malaria, there were several deaths, and some family issues to consider at home. Our parents were getting older, and although we came back to the States almost every year for a visit, we realized the time was coming when we would need to come home permanently.
When that time came we decided to live in Montana, as my husband had been to school there as a young man, and had always wanted to return. I knew nothing about Montana, and thought it was just fine to move there. What a surprise I found! It was more of a challenge than any of my experiences overseas. Starting out with the fact that I could not get a job teaching, because I was over qualified for the schools, in the small Montana towns; they could not afford to hire me. I suggested I would work for what they could pay, but was told they had to follow the rules. I am not sure if that was true, or I was just a person whose background was just off the map for them. I certainly did not have a teaching background they were familiar with.
What to do? While I was teaching in Laos, I had taken a course, via mail, in interior design in my spare time. As I always had a strong interest in the arts, but had never had the time or the place to pursue this interest. I passed the course, a years worth of effort, and worked in Laos with expats who were making permanent homes there.
I never thought i would be able to work as an interior designer in Montana, but It was my good fortune to find an interior design business in a neighboring small town. They needed another designer, and i was ready and willing to go to work. This was really a miracle, as this opportunity would not have been available in any other small town in Montana! From there my interest in antiques developed, as so many of my clients were collectors, and I was always looking for just the right piece of furniture or accent piece. It was fun, challenging, and again a pathway I had not traveled before.
Withing three years, I owned two antique shops, was running my interior design business, and participating in antiques shows all over the Northwest. My husband, had his own real estate business and was very supportive. We were having new adventures, as he was able to work with me when traveling to antique shows, all over the western states; he was my driver and muscle. :>)
After eleven years in Montana, we decided to move to someplace with a more moderate climate, but a hot climate was not our choicel, Washington State was perfect. However, since we had seen so much of the world, but not nearly enough of the USA, we sold all our property, put our stuff in storage and took off, for three and half years traveling from Bar Harbor Maine to Key West and New York to California, We were buying and selling antiques, and visiting friends and family along the way. There were antique shows everywhere in the 70’s and 80’s, and we did at least two a month as we moved across the country, going back and forth, three times.
While on this journey, we decided the day would come when moving furniture might not be a good choice for either of us, and we needed to consider the future. We both wanted to continue a life of adventure, but one appropriate to our middle age and energy level. I decided to join a major appraising association, take the classes, and become a certified appraiser. My husband went to school at the Gemological Institute of America, and became a fine jewelry appraiser.
After three and a half years, on the road, we decided it was time to return to the West coast, and settle down. We have been here over thirty years, and had an active, interesting appraising business. My husband passed away a few years ago, and I was devastated, to say the least. However, after some time, I went back to work, and here I am in my 70’s still working, still learning and still traveling. I just returned from a trip to Eastern Europe.
I hope this story, which I have tried to keep short, but have only been moderately successful in that attempt, helps reinforce your efforts to help people realize to never stop learning, never stop finding a way to do what you love. You just never know where your new skills, or your new adventure will take you. At the beginning of this story I mentioned I majored in Communication Arts in college. A skill that has come back to work for me these many years later, as my latest adventure is giving programs at local libraries, and different community organizations throughout the Puget Sound area, about how to handle an estate if you are downsizing or a relative has passed. It can be an over whelming responsibility. I’m still appraising, and I still do not know where I am going. :>)
Thank you for sharing that with us! I enjoyed reading that. And I appreciate you took the time to contribute here. Keep inspiring us. And let me know how it goes!
That was a very interesting story Bettebell, and thanks for sharing it. I’ve had the travel bug, too, and now I’m in Colombia, where everyone is friendly.
I found you on Medium couple of weeks ago.
It’s really nice to read you – even if you’re talking about common problems and topics – you are doing it on your own style – clear and very “readable”.
What do you think about idea for translating your posts in my (Polish) language (on my blog)?.
I see that many people in Poland don’t read Medium because of language misunderstoods.
I wanted to write a weekly summary about the same problems seen from different Medium writers.
So – Can I quote your articles (translated) sometimes?
Of course, Greg! Please include links back to the original articles on my blog. Thanks!
Hi Darius. Thanks for the work you do inspiring others! I’d like to share a couple thoughts on ‘Perception is Reality.’ I’ll try to be concise, but may detour a bit.
I’ve been experiencing acute anxiety for a while. Never had been this severe, but a recent, rocky relationship and its breakup have ramped up the cognitive distortions significantly. My ex is also prone to high anxiety, and often I’d feel unfairly projected upon. I’d try not to (emphasis on Try) take things personally, instead acknowledge the validity of their emotions as their real experiences and try not to in-validate them by judging them if i felt they were over-reacting or inventing something that wasn’t real.
For instance, they once told me they felt I needed to be higher on her emotional investment ladder than their daughter, that they feel overwhelmed sometimes when we’re together because she only has so much attention and affection to commit. My first thought was “are you kidding?” but I realized this is their perception which is their reality. i tried to explain that I would never feel as though I need more attention or affection than their daughter. when we’re all together, i sometimes play with the kid, or read with them, so they she could have a few moments to herself, or cook or help clean without so that she and her kid could do other things. i want to be a part of their lives, a part of their family, not a dividing factor. In another instance, i was accused of sexually objectifying her. we often flirted in pretty direct, almost aggressively sexual ways (and this was mutual, btw.) our relationship had recently reached a one-year anniversary, and i was shocked by this accusation. I wanted to scream “I’m in love with you, the whole you, as a person, not an object! Do i not express and show Love more than enough to deflate notions of Just About Sex?” but i wanted to be careful not to invalidate their emotions or gaslight their perceived reality with any refutation. I wish I’d responded differently, but i think all i said was “if that’s how you feel then that’s how you feel.”
Yet I would rarely receive the same in return. often in anxious moments, they’d tell me “you’re emotions are valid, BUT… you’re being extreme/your overreacting/I don’t like that” which would feel invalidating, then double or triple-down on the anxious moment… it was almost like a mantra for her. it’s a way of validating but then back-door judgement and it’s extremely volatile. i hesitate to label Manipulative or Abusive but at times it felt that way. got to the point where I’d auto-invalidate, gaslight myself, and mistrust my own perceptions. but my reality was my reality and even though i knew/felt some of my reactions were irrational, they were my realities.
Conversely, when she’d share anxious feelings or concerns, I would listen and often adapt to their viewpoint, look at my behavior through their lens, even if i disagreed with their perception, and try to adapt. If it would create a better balance, promote a healthier relationship, i absolutely would do everything in my power to evolve and adapt. Again, that seemed a one-way street. My concerns would be met with “i don’t owe you shit,” or “i’m not here to make you feel better about your anxieties,” “you need to accept me for who i am not who you want me to be,” or “your emotions are valid, but…”
** I realize I’m painting an ill portrait and I want to acknowledge that although these dynamics were not isolated to one or two events, there was a lot of sweetness, light, laughter, support, thoughtful actions, all the things that make for good, healthy relationships. However, the nature of our anxieties and how they would clash, how we responded to one another, and the frequency of these extremes (for both of us) created volatile emotional environments. **
Your article mentioned heuristics and the fact that we just can’t psychoanalyze everyone we meet in order to glean their motivations for behaviors. I don’t disagree, but I do believe that my partner misinterpreted and subsequently psychoanalyzed/marked me on many occasions which were, in my reality and my perceptions, unfounded. They snapped to heuristics rather than take a moment to try to understand a situation from a different viewpoint. In calmer moments after arguments, we’d often discuss Intent versus Interpretation. If I make an innocently intended comment about how sexy she is, sometimes it’s cute, sometimes it’s creepy (which, for a time, “creep” was a term of endearment, until it was a derision.) It’s not intended to objectify, just to compliment. But it can be interpreted as objectifying, so which Perception, which Reality holds more weight?
I try to be sensitive to the fact that although i carry a lot of bitterness and anger, i realize our perceptions and personal truths are subjective, that Reality is subjective. And even with a lot of those negative emotions, i do my best to speak of them (“of” is the operative word, we haven’t spoken in months) with sensitivity and respect, and try not to judge their emotions, realities, perceptions, or behaviors (which isn’t easy to do; i’m not always successful.) and i never speak ill of them publicly; i keep my opinions and emotions confined to therapy and a few close confidants. But again, the concept of Emotional Validity can be divisive because the definitions of Valid are not mutually exclusive. Emotions are valid (and those perceptions Real) because they are real experiences. But they are not always valid because they may not be grounded in sound, cogent reasoning. They may feel cogent, even if you’re aware you’re making assumptions that may feel irrational, but they may not be grounded in the objective Reality.
So I guess this all leads to the reason why I’m writing, to pose a question. You’re talking mostly about professional dynamics, not romantic relationships, I understand, but the ideas are related.
There are two realities: the objective and the subjective. A rose is a rose. I may see beauty in it but if it makes you sneeze, you may find it repugnant. She’s terrified of crickets. It took me a long time to get her to acknowledge that, in all likelihood, a cricket is NOT going to jump into her mouth, nose or hair, lay eggs, etc.; it’s just going to hop and chirp because that’s what crickets do. It’s okay to be scared, it’s not weird, no judgements. Her fear is valid in that it exists. But the objective reality and logic, outside of her perception, is that the nightmares are unlikely to manifest.
Oh, the question? When do we allow ourselves to accept that our perceptions are NOT reality? Not that we should obsessively gaslight or invalidate ourselves, but at what point do we acknowledge and realize that what we perceive, what we feel, may not Actually Be True or Real in the Objective Sense? How do we glean the Objective from the Subjective? Maybe you think someone’s a jerk because they don’t respond to your congeniality. In fact, they may just be shy and feel socially awkward; they’re not a jerk at all. Maybe somebody thinks I’m a creep, and that’s real to them, but I know I’m not. At what point do we stop conflating Subjective perceptions and Objective realities?
As you point out, sometimes things are not what they seem. But if we hold so steadfastly to What I Perceive Is What Is (aka the cognitive distortion of I Feel It Therefore It Must Be True,) throw heuristics out the window, and accept a Reality other than or outside of our perceptions as what may be more Objectively true?
Great introspection. I enjoyed reading that. You make good points.
To answer your question: All the time! I continuously don’t accept that perception is reality. That was the point I tried to make in the article. We make judgments all the time. But we must always second guess ourselves. I think what you’re doing is great. You’re looking at the matter from the other person’s perspective.
And what point do we stop? For me it’s clear: When it comes to people who are close to me, I never stop trying to understand them. And I’m happy to change my own behavior. But to people who are not close to me, I don’t care at all. Life’s too short for that. There is simply no time to please everyone.
Hi Darius, I just read your new book, Think Straight. I will put a review on Amazon very soon, under my pen name, Nurmi. Windhover is the name of our sailboat. We sailed from Florida, had many wonderful stops and experiences and are now based in Santa Marta, Colombia, our favorite place yet! I loved the ideas in your book so I wanted to join your community. I’ve written a book but I need to go back and edit it. That’s why the book you just sent me, will be very helpful. Your new fan, Susi
Hi Susi! Thanks for reading my book. I’m glad you like it!
What a journey! Good luck with all your endeavors and let me know it goes!
This is Vicky from India. Your book “Think Straight” hit me at the right time. I went through depression due to some confusions in life, your explaination to how to think straight helps me to improve alot in me.
That’s awesome, Vicky. I’m very happy to hear that. Keep in touch!
Hi Darius, I just read your article on focusing on Medium. It was very helpful and insightful. Thanks so much for the great read.
Hi Darius, I just read your post “Price’s Law: Why Only A Few People Generate Half Of The Results”. Well-written and I agree entirely though did want to gather your thoughts about the majority allowing the minority mentioned to shine/be stars? At a personal level it makes great sense to find the field you shine in, at a team level though would the stars be able to shine without the support of the non? As I type this I think each team and individual mix will determine a different pivot point of benefit to stars vs non ratio. If you’ve had any thoughts on the subject would love to hear them!
Hi James. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Good point. At some point in our careers, we are all the non-stars, like you say. And I agree. The balance is good.
The real challenge is becoming a star. Will everyone become one? Skill, effort, and luck play a role.
Hi Darius, I read your post about the bad mood and good mood this morning, right after something had pushed me hard into a bad mood! Your article helped me see what a bad idea was to stay there so I hopped out fairly quickly by helping someone do something. it took the focus off myself and put me right back in a great mood. So thanks for sending it on exactly the right day for me! Your fan, Susi
Hey Susi! Very happy to hear you find the article useful! And I hope you stay in a good mood.
I loved reading your medium posts and I have one question. I just finished college and I don’t know what to do in life? Any suggestions. I love to learn and read
That’s a good question. I wrote about it here: https://dariusforoux.com/universal-skills/
I recently read your book ‘straight thinking’. The title itself has a clear meaning. Before the reading, I had not known the things such as pragmatism, cognitive bias and the touching message ‘do what work best’. I really appreciate your efforts to pen down your journey. I would also like to raise my doubts for friendly discussion. Some of your real life example are paradoxical but I understand that I have my own biased cognitive. There is always a question in mind which dictates everything,as we read more and more from different books the thoughts get allined to differnt percpective,- how to know what is my real perception? Would it be unique? Or I should keep developing it? Can it be static perception and if no then dynamic perception is good?
Hi Kumar. Thanks for reading. I don’t know the answers. Like I write in the book: Does it matter to your daily life if you have the answers? To me, it doesn’t. So I don’t worry about it. Also, life is paradoxical, my friend.
Your article Read This if You’re Going Through Adversity.
I suffered a terrible stroke last year and continue to improve. The advice in this article certainly rings true for me as I use many of these strategies on my own to keep pushing forward. I am very fortunate to live on the seacoast where I frequently go to release the stress of my day. When I have negative thoughts I can actually feel worse physically. I have been trying very hard to remain positive and take steps to keep improving every day. Thanks for sharing!
Good to hear you’re improving, Kim! Stay positive. Thanks for reading and sharing!
I’ve read your book think straight. I really like it. The topic I like most is inner calm. It make me livable again . Thank you so much.
Thanks for reading, Monika!
I have read you book “Think Straight”. I really like the book.
I would love to share my story and what I think.
Thanks, Naresh. Sure, you can always email me.
I just want to ask this question: Why does love hurt someone and how can you grow a thick skin in life even when you have tried but is not working – I have a problem of been too emotional? Please I really want to grow a thick skin
Thank you for the squib on the girl who was concerned that other people were using the same strategy to get a job. An eye opening experience is to sit in on job seeker interviews. Rarely did I ever hear an interviewee do the interviewing of the interviewer! It is a way of communicating that you are interested in working on a team and meeting the job goals. Reading? I read a study that the average college graduate does not pick up a book and read for two years after graduation. Don’t be that typical grad.
Thanks for reading! Good point.
Hi Lynda, I think it’s very hard to get a thick skin. I’m still working on it. Maybe Darius has an idea.
Here are my thoughts on developing a thick skin: https://dariusforoux.com/thickskin/
Lynda Favour, I found something on YouTube for you. Dr. Caroline Leaf, Episode #41. It’s very helpful!
Great article on the thick skin issue, Darius!
Thanks for your great new article concerning the 10 habits. I do all of them except the strength training. I guess I’d better get with the program!
Thanks for reading!
Small habits? These aren’t small, doable certainly but not small. I do 4 of these I aspire to the rest and feel certain I’d feel almost G_d like if I could do all them. Just sayin:) Great stuff though –
It’s a matter of perspective. If you say they are not small, you’re not helping yourself. It’s like writer’s block. To me, it does not exist. Guess what! I can’t have something that doesn’t exist. Similarly, I can easily stick to small habits. Big ones? No so.
I love your new article on Getting Rid of Thoughts! I’ve got to read it every day and I’m going to make it a habit
Here I am again, with compliments on your Decision Making article now. Another excellent take on things. Thanks, Darius!
Hi Darius and Community,
I came across your website in a news feed this morning and clicked on it because of the topic around productivity. It seems that I’m continually trying to find the BEST way that works for me to manage my daily/weekly/monthly/qtrly/yearly tasks; along with managing my calendar. While using electronic devices for this makes sense, I feel that I’ll be on a device even more than I am now and I’m trying to reduce the time that I’m on electronics overall; so this solution seems counterproductive to me.
I’d love to hear from you, Darius, and this community on what tools you’ve found to help you manage your work/life schedules and tasks; with the goal of having this information as consolidated as possible and help improve productivity along the way.
I’m looking forward to everyone’s input here!
Thank you in advance,
First-time reader – Erin Hornbaker
Thanks for writing back, Erin. Check out my most-read articles on productivity here: https://dariusforoux.com/best-articles/ That should help you get started. Also, if you’re looking for tools, check out my resources page: https://dariusforoux.com/resources/ Hope that helps!
What’s helped me is to stop trying to find the “perfect” or “best” way to organize or be productive. Find something that works well enough, and only research new methods in your free time. It’s easy to procrastinate by trying to learn productivity, but it can be really counter-productive.
Dear Darius Foroux,
I am very thankful these days because I have had the opportunity to read your articles on the Medium app and to discover your website.
First, I would like to introduce myself : my name is Ophélie Jaësan and I am a French writer. I write mostly novels and poetry, but besides this activity I am also working for Momentum, a web community platform for personnal growth. We create articles and lives. In our blog, we ask authors to write articles on the subject that matters to them.
Now, we are in september 2018, I would like to translate some articles I’ve read on Medium (this app is so great!) and liked a lot, in order to widen the prospects for the french-speaking community.
Therefore I translated your article « The purpose of life is not happiness : it’s usefulness » and I would like to know if you would accept that Momentum publishes it freely on its blog with your name and the references of your website ? If yes, it would be amazing.
Thanks for your time !
Hi! I found this blog a few months ago as I was procrastinating on working on a summer college course. It’s reignited my passion for learning, but it’s really hard to get through schoolwork (I’m a senior in high school) when most of my courses don’t interest me. The workload is huge and doesn’t leave a lot of time for me to pursue my interests. Should I just tough it out until I get to study what I want in college? Any advice/tips/resources would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Hi Emma! Thanks for sharing! I had the same thoughts when I was in high school. Looking back, I’m glad I pushed through. School is not so much about learning things that are useful or interesting. It’s about FINISHING it. And people who are finishers are generally more successful than people who quit. Best of luck!
My name is Bailey and I am about to graduate college in finance. I’ve also wanted to start my own business and am looking into starting an English teaching business in China. I was wondering if I could get some advice on creating lessons and content. I am also interested in starting my own clothing company but I don’t use any social media and worry about how I could make it trendy. I would love to hear any advice from you.
Hey Bailey. I’ve been asked about the business side of blogging a lot lately. That’s why I’m currently working on a new site, http://businessofblogging.net. I plan to share everything I’ve learned about turning blogging into a career. For now, I’d say that you don’t necessarily need social media to grow a business. There are many ways you can grow a business. I can’t answer that in a reply. What I can say is that business is about value creation. How can you create value? Answer that first, think about marketing second.
I almost worked myself to death 2-1/2 years ago and ended up on SS disability. As a result of, I have been practicing the art of procrastination. I will unlearn just a little bit at a time in order to feel useful and productive again. Until now, Darius, you have inspired me enough to take the first step. Thank You.
Really glad to hear that, Peter. Please let me know how it goes!
Thanks, Darius. Excellent article on not sacrificing anything to be successful. The mindset is everything. It’s so much better to say, “I want to do this for this reason, rather than I have to do this because I must.” I love your thoughts and the way you express them. Keep up the good work. Looking forward to what comes next.
Thanks for reading, Samuel! Appreciate that.
I want to thank You for all these lessons. I`ve started listening to those after losing my job and and it has really changed my mindset. I`ve came back to reading, learning and hopefully something good will result because of it :)
Maybe someday You could write something about languages that you`re speaking or learing recently, or about methods which you`re using to learn them? I think it might be useful.
Hey Marcin! That’s good to hear! In my experience, changing our mindset is the first step towards personal growth.
I haven’t written about language learning. Thanks for the suggestion. I will keep that in mind!
Just learned of your existence via a reprint of your article, “Want to make better decisions? Do this.” Liked it… very much. It’s the sort of item that can really help, if embraced and applied.
I keep a poster on my office wall directly across from my desk that reads:
“Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.” It’s attributed to ‘Unknown’.
I love it and it does help me in my new retirement career as the portfolio manager for our modest family office. My wife, a PETA member, is not so keen but she’s missing the point… in this instance. Reading it helps me overcome analysis paralysis. Really like that expression of yours too. Thanks for that. Hope the poster (pun unintended) helps you and your readers.
Hi Greg! Thanks for reading and visiting my website, and also saying hi. I like that quote. I’m like that too. Thanks for sharing!
Just read your post on having a philosophy for life. Great thoughts. I also appreciated your 2018 reading list. I look forward to reading some of your suggestions. Just a couple quick questions. In your post on choosing a philosophy, you wrote this: “Questions like “What’s the purpose of life?” and “Does God exist?” are easily answered in my opinion.” I write a twice weekly blog on quotations, and I often interact with some of the world’s great philosophers. My questions are this: How would you define the ‘purpose of life’? And can there not be an objective and universal purpose for life? I mean in a macro sense, not a micro sense. For example, eating has a PURPOSE, though the variety and frequency and volume are almost limitless. Also, can you say with such certainty that God exists or does not exist? It seems that most philosophers reject the concept of God. At least in any universal sense. I’ve always struggled with the idea that “God is whatever you perceive him to be.” Seems that if there is actually a God that exists, then it’s not up for debate. Just as 2 parts hydrogen and 1 part oxygen form water. There’s no debate, it just IS. Thanks for your response. I hope my questions are clear. Thanks very much for your writing. I hope to listen to some of your podcasts in the new year.
Thanks for reading, Samuel. I’m glad you like it. Good questions. I honestly don’t know. However, I don’t think there’s a universal purpose of life (outside reproduction). It’s up to every person to decide for themselves what the purpose of life is.
Hi Darius, How do i respond to an apology from my sister who was judging me and in turn used passive aggressive behavior on me because i did not comply with her request. I was hurt and upset but she is not aware that she hurt me as it was not mentioned in her apology.
Hi Penny. I can relate to that. One thing I’ve learned is that other people don’t know how we feel until WE tell them. When we love people, we often ASSUME they know what hurts us. But that’s not true. People are not fortunetellers. We still have to tell them, in a normal way. Hope that helps.
Outstanding article on keeping positive. I hope you’re feeling much better by the time you read this.
I just wanted to say a massive thank you. I asked a few months ago about how to get through high school when it feels pointless, and got really helpful advice. Today, I got my first college acceptance letter!!
I’m so thankful for this blog. It’s so easy to read an article between readings or assignments, and the return on that time is huge. Each article shifts my work and study to be a little easier and more productive. Over time, that makes a huge difference in my effectiveness. Thank you for making this stressful period of life a little better every day!
Congrats, Emma! Glad to hear that. And thanks for letting me know! This is the best feedback; that you find it useful. Keep in touch!
Darius- Hey I’ve just been following you web page for the last 10 months and have enjoyed the clarity and straight forward writing that is becoming tighter and tighter-wow. But I just read your latest entry on habits about blowing up all your bad ones to avoid compensation with your other bad habits- but that sounds a bit different from the previous entry this year – “just focus one at a time” Whats up?? A breakthrough? or a new insight- I’m ready to jump in and go big time (but is it one or all) Thanks!
Thanks. One is about breaking habits, the other about forming them. If you want to break your bad habits, I suggest breaking them all. If you want to form new habits, I recommend one at a time. Also, start small. It’s all a bit counterintuitive, but it has worked well for me.
Hello, i am Pawan from India. I am reading your articles from last one month after reading your book ‘Think Straight’ and it is very helpful and improve the way i think. Firstly i want to thank you and really want to appreciate your work and dedication. I also follow some other great authors but you are really great person and true person from heart.
Sir i have a question about Journal, please tell me about how to write a journal, and what to write everyday. I have looked many places but the idea is not clear in my head. Please explain about the same. I will be very thankful to you.
Hi Pawan! Thank you for the kind words. Means a lot. And I’m glad you like the book!
I’ve written about journaling before. Here’s the article: https://dariusforoux.com/how-to-journal/
Give it a read and let me know if you have any questions!
Darius. i am new to your world. like your stuff soo much. the cartoons are awesome. keep up the good work dawg.
Your articles and words can CHANGE folks lives in real and practical ways ! awesome. kudos
Thanks, Matt! Appreciate that!
I really like your style and your efforts to help people live better.
Guys like you, Leo Batista (zenhabits), the minimalists, and others are really great.
is there a name (category) for you and guys like Leo, etc ?
self help writers (lame)
perspective sharers that change lives
bloggers that help folks live to be their best ..?
positive life change blogger ! thats it. i like that one.
I put you, Leo, the mininalists, and all those other types who offer sound and sometimes unconventional advice to help people live life BETTER in a Group .
What would you call this group?? ?
i have flirted with bloggin. writing articles, etc. i l love to write and i got a big mouth.
I have no problem with titles. What matters to me is that we all inspire each other to live better.
Hello and good afternoon (in Denver anyway) I read your article on chaos and life, I liked it. And after thinking about it, I am also finding the opposite approach helpful in my life. Work = Chaos, live life in bits and pieces whenever possible… Fit it in, don’t wait or put things off. Thanks for sparking this perspective. I will check out you writings more!
Hi Candie! Glad to hear that! Well said. Thanks for reading and taking the time to write back!
I can’t thank you enough for writing this book. Whenever I am stuck with my thoughts. I just revisit your book ‘Think Straigth’ and I am sorted.
I am looking forward to use my brain as a tool and not letting it screw me :-)
Lot of love and all the best for your future endeavors.
Manpreet (a reader from INDIA)
Hey Manpreet! I appreciate that. That you find the book useful is truly the best feedback! Thanks for the support. And same to you!
Hi I enjoy reading from your perspective I just found you but so far after reading a couple of your columns I found it shed light to some things for me in my life. I enjoy reading from people who can keep it real and you seem to do that.I believe your style in writing and the topics are relevant to my own situations in life at the moment they speak to me. I am actually learning how to do ad copy believe I can also derive from you on this. But am also wanting to know if you don’t mind if I share the valuable content with other people? As I have couple of groups of followers I would like to share your blogs with by re-posting or quoting you with your permission and given you credibility of course. I might even use it on some ad copy with proper citations. Please let me know if this is okay with you. I would of emailed but found this be the only way I found to connect to you at the moment.
Thanks, Nina! Appreciate that! Good to hear this.
That’s okay with me. I appreciate a link to my site.
All the best! And let me know how it goes.
I just read your article ,The Quickest ‘Hack’ to Happiness.
I really enjoyed it . I send a quarterly paper newsletter
to about 3,000 patients and I like to include a few non medical related stories/articles. I think they would appreciate your article and want to know if you would give me permission to reprint it in my newsletter .
Thanks, Rick. Sure. The more people we can reach the better. I’d appreciate a link back to the original on my site.
Will do. Thanks. I appreciate it.
Hi Darius, recently i have came across one of your article you wrote in 2016, it’s about “The Problem know-it-alls”, which i had a lot of thoughts, which i still can’t straighten my mind,
I would like to share my story and seek your opinion. My apologized first as i believed my story gonna be very long.
I have a know-it-all colleague, why i said that because she can answered and knows everything and it seems like there is nothing she don know.. i didn’t noticed anything wrong as it could be she’s really knowledgeable but as times passed, i noticed when i asked her for more info or elaborate more, she can’t answered me or us (colleagues) and these are a few things i started to have impression she did:
1.We (few colleagues) are chit chatting, sometime for the first 5-10 mins she didn’t join in but when she joined in at later part and she seem to know everything about the news or something we saw online, at first we think nothing about it because is social media, she might have saw it. She never asked us or never told us she didn’t know but if she knows about it, she will answer immediately but once I saw she is searching Google and further explaining the article or news we are discussing. -_-“”
2. She did but not often asked us how to do certain work related stuffs (she just newly joined our company), she have this “she thinks” attitude (probably she think she know it all) and give wrong information to other people (we did give her proper training, we are willing to share, if she asks, we are adults, we can’t monitor what she has been doing, open your mouth if you are not sure) but she is forever sure, but when things break out and we ask her what happened and the reasons for the instructions or suggestions are, she will keep quiet and give us a crying look, just like we are just bullying her. (First of all, we have enough rationality to try to find out the reasons and not giving her a dress down without asking.)
3. She will tell us what troubles and comment on all the bad things about to be on tour, but she has only been abroad a few times and has been free and easy and has never been on tour. Sometimes we don’t know if she knows, or according to her experience and what she said is true verification. Just as we believe in her knowledge, I pass it on to someone, but it turns out that this is just a perception of another person, not herself. What’s worse, she is not the person involved, she doesn’t even know the whole story. But bring out as if it really happen to her.
4. She likes to grab the last sentence of our sentence and end it as her words. . For example… i am talking to someone, i said “that’s how it should have happened”, she repeated in seconds, really in seconds like she is another me “that’s how it should have happened”, -_-”
Once she commented that someone copying what people said as she did. -_-” (For me, how can someone be so shameless that you know how you behave yet you are proud of it, as if it is nothing)
Now she has evolved a bit. When I said “you can cut from the computer”, she will said “ya you can crop from the computer” and when i said “you can bill them accordingly”, she said ” ya you can invoice them accordingly”, she is like my tail and end with her words…
5. Worse and which annoyed me the most is I noticed she is intimidating me the way i behaved, the way i talked to someone or phrase i used and that really kinda stress me out, i am seeing and listening to my double everyday.
honestly i am not praising myself but i get along quite well with all my whole company colleagues, cause i very often cracked jokes with them for about 2 years.. to me, she wants to be the popular kid in town.
And she joined in any conversation, other people is having with me whether or not in the first place, people are talking to me and not her, she answered, please note is EVERY, it felt like she is part of me and she can answer on behalf of me.
Sometime i talked loud (small office), example i feedback to A that someone complaint about the servicing of air conditioner, she listened and when she talked to A on some other work documentation, she will commented like ” ya like that someone who complaint about the air conditioner”, that have nothing to do with her documentation is like out of nowhere and like she got the complaint calls instead of me.
I am tolerating this kind of behaviors and as her senior, i am focusing on her works not her know-it-all attitude but copying me, really affecting me… i did talked to her about her work and immediately she shed tears, i was in a shocked and once i asked her don copy what i said, she stopped awhile and stay a distance from us but now she is back in action again.
Darius, (!!! I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK !!!),
Please give me your advice.
P.S: Darius, i must tell you this but your articles and words are different, i don know how to put in words but it’s just feel like, it “fits in all” in my daily life, i cant represent others but i am feeling it that way. Please keep it that way as i am really getting really enjoying readying your article.
Hey there! Thanks for sharing this. Appreciate it. And I think a lot of people can relate. I don’t know if you should apply my advice because it’s pretty hardcore. I am usually pretty aggressive towards know-it-alls. It’s not a great strategy but it works for me. I either ignore them completely or put them in their place. That’s because I don’t like people who mess up group dynamics. I think we should respect each other. But when people don’t do that, I can be harsh about that.
I don’t feel sorry for them because they are adults. Chances are she was trying to manipulate you and make you feel guilty. I know this sounds like a cold point of view. But you must always protect the GROUP’s interest. That’s my philosophy.
But in general, I think it’s good you’re trying to be more assertive. Reclaim your time and energy. If someone’s not worth your time, don’t give it to them. Adults are responsible for their own behavior. If they don’t behave well, give them a couple of chances, but if they don’t listen; kick them out. That’s what I do. Not perfect, but it works.
You are a good writer, but more importantly, your tone engages readers. You’re not just telling people what to do or not to do, like many other authors who write in this category. Instead, you share your own weaknesses and relate to your readers. You have a good sense of humor, and your sentences flow effortlessly. As you mentioned in one of your articles/books, I too don’t necessarily finish every book I touch if I feel like I’m wasting my time.
You’re remarkably smart, and I cannot believe that you’re only 29 (am I correct?). A lot more mature than many people who are decades senior to you. Although, I sometimes feel that I hit my peaks in life at 29 and then more spiritually at 39, both of which have sustained, but not the physical beauty, which I was not happy about after I turned 50.
Then, I’ve read a profound message about aging—and ultimately death—in a Japanese periodical, which I share below. I translated it myself, mostly as a note to my future self, and I hope you enjoy it, too . . . although, you are certainly too young to be able feel resonated yet.
? ? ?
Wilting flowers never bloom again, but there’s much beauty to be found in them.
When you’re past your peak in life, you start declining in every aspect; your body aches, your skin wrinkles, you’re no longer desired in business world, or no longer turn heads when you walk into a room. But now is the time that you start to see the world from the other direction.
When you were in a hurry and too busy climbing the ladder for success in your work, relationship or other endeavors, you missed seeing lots of sceneries along the way. It is when you start going downhill, you get to see what you’ve missed on the way up.
It’s up to you to notice and appreciate the beauty in those elements you once missed, and that’s what changes how you reach the bottom of the hill . . . at the end of your life.
Thank you for the kind words, Marie. That really means a lot to me. I’m glad to hear your feedback because that’s what I always aim for. We’re all trying to figure things out.
I’m turning 32 this month. I’ve been blessed with many wise people in my life. I also read a lot of books. None of the stuff I share I made up myself.
Funnily enough, I can relate to your message and what you say about the later stages of life. I’ve learned many lessons from my grandmother, who lived with regret for the last part of her life. I learn that people don’t regret the things they did, they regret what they DIDN’T do.
Thank you for sharing. And stay in touch.
My birthday is in March as well (the 29th). Happy Birthday to us!
So true about what you said about your grandmother, which is the pitfall so easy to fall into. We could stay feeling sorry for ourselves, or start enjoying the new view as we walk down the hill — Isn’t it interesting that when we walk uphill, we really cannot see the view, unless we stop and turn around.
It feels like your articles and books were composed when you stopped and enjoyed the view. It is very refreshing that I can feel that you do not write from ego but from heart.
Mr. Foroux, you are TRULY a gifted writer. But I admit that I might be biased; it’s easy to like someone’s writing when you agree with everything they write!!I In fact, with your article “Self-Reliance Is The Secret Sauce To Consistent Happiness,” it’s like you’ve scanned and downloaded my soul. “Put your faith in no man,” is a paraphrase from the Bible that I repeat to myself daily. It keeps me from relying too heavily on ANYONE or ANYTHING. We humans conveniently forget that- most of the time- we can barely trust ourselves, let alone other people. The goal is to become 100% accountable to yourself.
Hello Mr. Foroux,
I hope you are doing well. Firstly, thank you for taking the time to read this. I know you must be very busy so I’ll keep this very brief. My name is Sher and I’ve recently started a company named Purpaple. I’m looking to do some good for humanity by publishing a small booklet themed around happiness and how to achieve it. I plan on making about 200,000 copies and distributing it throughout my city free of cost. I would be honored to open the book with your favorite quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson followed by one of your articles on happiness, along with full credit of course. Please let me know what you think.
Thanks, Sher. I appreciate that. Sure, feel free to share. The more people we can reach, the better.
Darius I think you are a very talented writer! I stumbled across one of your articles and, from that first article, I was hooked. However, I wish you would not curse in your writing. I understand that many people curse in their private lives, but I wanted to share your writings with children and I simply can’t do that when it is peppered with such adult language. I would encourage you to stop cursing in your writing. It doesn’t enhance your message. In fact, it helps to diminish your work because you cut out two pieces of your market with your language – kids and Christians. Of course, you don’t need these two groups to make money and I know you can’t write for everyone and you have to be you, but when you write such informative words and I can’t share them with kids whose parents would object to foul language, it is just a shame. Please think about this. Keep up the fantastic writing!
Thank you Darius for inspiring me to pursue a creative career i love and that will last me a lifetime. It saddens me how people would go 40+ years of their life in a career they hate and never get the idea of creating their ideal lifestyle. Im currently a teenager and have been thinking deeply about my future. Ever since i discovered your articles on Medium, I have been growing more and more confident about my future and have more clarity on the direction i want to go in life. Thank you for the very needed clarification and keep up the good work!
Glad to hear that, Treavon! That’s the best feeling, to have perspective. I wish you all the best! And let me know how it goes on your journey.
Mr. Foroux, What would you say about a book that reveals scientific evidence of three of the most sought after mysteries of the universe, 1. How the universe was created by a spiritual entity, 2. The location of God’s spiritual dimension, 3. The origin of human consciousness?
Thank you, Darius, for the gift of your book (and Happy Birthday!), I just started reading but thought I’d let you know that what appear to be links don’t respond, either on iPhone or iPad (haven’t tried desktop yet) in neiter PDF nor Kindle version. Hope it’s only me, but if you hear from others the same, you may want to check it out.
Thanks, Marie. Same to you (tomorrow, right?). I checked the links and everything seems to work. Don’t know why it doesn’t work.
Just read post on One Thing. As a multitask in recovery, I needed this reminder. And valuable to connect to spiritual principles.
Glad to hear that, Gena!
Mystery solved, Darius . . . if you download it to Books, the links work. But it you download it to Kindle, links work on neither version.
Hi Darius ,
I Just found you site last week , I start to read your article and feel I lost my productive to your site . Ha ha ha
I’m happy with your article , it is very good.
I’m here just to inform you that your link under productive section 1st item it is link to your main blog page ,
1 The Science Behind Procrastination And How You Can Beat It
I think this should be this page https://dariusforoux.com/sciencebehindprocrastination/
Thanks, Chaiwat! Will correct it. Glad you like the site.
Hi Darius ,
Thanks very much for this: “10 Lessons I Learned From Making Many Mistakes in My 20s”
it was a great read for me, very inspirational to the bone. lol
God Bless yah.
Thanks for reading, Anton! Glad to hear that.
I really enjoyed your article on being Free. I’ve recently made a lot of brave changes in my life, and not sure where this will take me, but reading your stories impact me for the good. I’ll come back to report when I’ve got more clear direction. It’s always good to do something taking us out of the comfort zone, right?
Thanks for your good work!
Thanks, Mary! I agree! Good to hear you’ve made changes. Looking forward to hearing from you in the future. Stay in touch.
Hi Darius! I discovered you on Medium but haven’t joined, so found your page to read some of your articles I find interesting. I especially like the ones on writing, as I am a writer and getting into editing (after leaving a soul crushing career as an admin) which is really exciting and I feel I am back in my proper niche. And I agree with you on reinventing ourselves now and then to shake the dust out!
Lastly, your books on writing are missing one of the best, from Minneapolis’ own, Brenda Ueland – If You Want to Write. Check it out. It is really about following your passion, but is a great read!
Glad to hear that, Liz! Thanks for writing back and sharing the book. Will check it out.
I just read your new article on “mindfulness.” Interesting read for sure. I’m just genuinely curious: why/how does meditation depress you?
Just read your article on “how to exercise 312 times a year”. Every week, for 3-4 days in a row I have to work 13-hour shifts. My work is both physically and mentally demanding (nursing). Wondering if you have some suggestions on how to work around this and get an exercise routine in place?
How about going for a brisk walk in your break? If I can’t go to the gym, I always try to get a good walk in.
Nice article you have on your site and I love everything about it thanks for shoeing more insight about habit
Succinct and straight to the point. Not like some other long grandmother story books which even cost money!!!!!
Thank you, Darius for being the lift I needed last night after googling answers to figuring out how to better manage the fiery darts of life.
Your thoughtful content reminded me of my younger self (which I truly miss) before I was married and settle with a family (that I love!) but in the midst of the craziness, I’ve lost my sense of quietness and the ability to introspect and think deeply of the things I love – space + tactile design, sketching things, building things, finances and investments, how to live an efficient and productive life…
I hope to slowly resurrect these interests again by implementing your incredibly, life-changing content bits and pieces at a time. Being very selective with the things I subscribe to, I actually look forward to your emails.
Glad to hear that! Thanks for joining and keep in touch.
2019 June 13
I do not dismiss claims that mastery of a new language, difficult skills, or bodies of knowledge takes a long time, but question the 10,000-hour figure as too pat. Yet, Gladwell was correct to note such feats take impressive, concerted effort.
A non-human with otherwise human capacities, pursuing such mastery could reach 10,000 hours’ practice in 1 year, 1 month, 21 days. He would need no time for sleep, meals, bath room breaks, socialising, routine tasks, and other obligations.
Eight hours solid practice daily would total to 10,000 hours’ practice only after 3 yrs, 5 mos, 3 days.
Before finishing high school, Van Cliburn practiced three hours most days. At Juillard that may have grown to 8 hrs daily but not for three years solid.
I doubt the Beatles got 10,000 hours playing time in Hamburg.
We must build up callouses for practice, until we really get into the swing of it.
Starting at 10 minutes daily practicing violin at around 4 years, my 13 year-old grandson is now up to only 45 minutes practice daily. He had to build endurance and patience. Now he can hear a song and come close to copying it pretty well, but that was never assured.
Some could do better, yet he still doesn’t want to be a professional musician. His likeliest metier should be engineer or sth. very mathematical. Sad, I inherited none of his abilities.
The 10,000-claim needs refinement. That might work for building Viking boats, but not for playing tic-tac-toe, nor even for playing terrific go moku.
/s/ Max ROBERTS
I’ve read your book Think Straight. The answer to the question “would you live differently if scientist discovered how the Earth was created” is no for everyone I know including me. The question made me think. I am going to be less critical of others and let things be. The little problems in life will take care of themselves.
Good to hear that, Peter. Thank you for sharing!
Darius you are a genius. You are inspiring without even knowing it. Your brand- message, web site structure, unique features, enrollment- is the holy grail I have been trying to develop for several years; sadly without any success. In fact, history may one day record that I am the most unsuccessful author/public speaker of all time. But that’s ok. Fortunately, I have a great day job and a whole lotta love in my life. My hat’s off to you sir. Your site and messaging is clean and very clever.
Thank you for the kind words, Kirk. But I’m no genius and you’re no failure. We’re all the same. We’re trying to figure things out. And we’re trying to make the best of it! If something is not a success, adjust your strategy, and keep going. Good to connect and stay in touch.
Could you please make a button to read some random articles from your blog? I think it might be useful for people (just to remind some of it sometimes).
Cheers from Poland
Good idea, Marcin. I started sharing random old posts on Twitter and Facebook. And I will think about how I can do something similar on my site. Thanks for the suggestion.
I am Pooja. I have been facing difficulties in focusing on my career for last two months. I recently had a break up which messed up with my head and had constant depressing thoughts. I almost wasted 3 months thinking about it. Then I started reading self healing and motivational books. I read thinking straight and it helped me a lot to align my thoughts towards my career and goals.
That’s amazing, Pooja. Glad to hear this! Keep going.
Loved your list of great books to read. Another one that I have loved for decades and re-read repeatedly is Dale Carnegie’s “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.” Dated, yes, and a little heavy on religion for some, but also so comforting in so many ways. Thanks for all your great writing! Kathy
Also one of my favorites, Kathy! Thanks for sharing!
Hi Darius, I’m taking you up on the “grow a thicker skin” post. If you would take a look at my site. Be harsh, be scathing! Over time I’ve generated many toons in MANY styles.
These zombie-like critters serve a purpose and what the hell … It’s fun.
After I read that post of yours I really decided I shouldn’t give a shit about “opinion” since there has been quite some positive feedback already!
How much more “validation” does one need?
Thank you for offering your two books, free of charge. Truly believe the Lord lead me to you because procrastination is a major stumbling block in my life. After reading them I will get in touch again.
Thanks for reading, Toni-Marie!
Hi Darius, I just read the No Asshole Rule and getting rid off them – i couldnt agree more. Question is, how do you get rid off someone like that when you work with them on a daily basis and that situation cant be modified.
I would bring that person’s behavior into the open. I always openly communicate that I don’t deal with assholes.
Thank you for your input. Ill give it a try, just have to be careful about my own emotions at the time :)
HI Darius, I have read several of your articles where it is clear that you have several mentors who have advised you, guided you and helped you through ups and downs of your life. Now, how did you managed to connect with your mentors and develop good relationship with them?
If you write a article about that, it would be helpful for everyone. Or if you have already written somewhere about it, you can point that to me.
Tried sending something but….
Hi Darius, I’m new to your work and I wanted to say how I appreciate your clarity of view. You write about things that are relevant to me and I’ll enjoy exploring your work further.
After reading your article on Anxiety, I had one observation from my own experience of Anxiety I would like to share: Learning to befriend my Anxiety.
It’s well known that Anxiety is a normal human response to a stressful or dangerous situation triggering the bodies ‘fight or flight’ response mechanism. We also know it’s not quite as simple as that!
Even at the milder end of the huge Anxiety spectrum, the physical and mental symptoms of Anxiety can be unpleasant through to downright difficult to live with. But that’s the point that I am personally grateful to Anxiety for: I am living. Anxiety helps me deal with the much darker force of depression.
So whilst Anxiety can be exhausting to live with and for others I know I can be exhausting to be around, I’m grateful that it’s there.
Thanks for sharing this, Jon! Appreciate it. That’s a good way to look at Anxiety. And thanks for reading!
I stumbled on your site at 01:45 last night and *poof*! 4 hours later the sound of the 0530 train rumbling past pulled me out again. Good thing too, as the squeaking
coming from the WRONG side of the closed door was getting pretty plaintive!
M’sieur presented me with a dead mouse (brekke? Really easy hunting practice?), then munched his way through a bowl of cat biscuits.
I thought I’d leave you a little note to thank you for putting so many helpful ideas and useful questions out here for free, and also for almost certainly saving me from waking up with a dead mouse in my face. Again. ;)
Haha appreciate that, Jules! Thanks for stopping by.
Hi Darius, and thanks for your great work. I am always pleased when i see something new from u in my inbox. Your style of talking to the reader is refreshing and engages me. I really really appreciate your brevity and no bullshit style. (Always appropriate and respectful). And the brevity of posts which give me or two concepts to think about. I’m getting up the courage to quit at least one of my 3 jobs, all of which i enjoy, to travel in a casita trailer to ‘find’ myself and rest for a year. Im almost 60 and want to renew my body and mind, and focus on teaching anthropology online, which will allow me the freedom to travel on the US and Canada. Healthcare benefits is my big issue to solve right now, but i will. I love your inspirational and practical tone. I don’t want to sound too ‘earthy crunchy’ as i am at heart a very practical person with a mystical bent. Looking forward to the 3 chapters! Patty
Thanks for taking the time to share this, Patty! I like how you say that “I will” solve the healthcare issue. Determined. It truly makes a difference. Stay in touch!
Hi Darius thank you for sharing your information on your Blogging Journey I have learnt a lot already,I am starting a Travel Blog (Lots of Competition LOL) Any tips would be helpful, enjoying your Podcast also cheers. A quick ? can I use a free theme for my site or is it better to have a paid theme ?
Hey Ken, I use a paid theme, which I’ve customized a bit, for the reason you mentioned. There are a lot of blogs out there. And it’s important to stand out in your own way.
Honestly, I am deeply inspired by your writing. I am also interested in blogging. Actually, I am writing on Medium. I read your each and every articles and love your voice. It’s simple and empathetic. I want to help people by coaching. Actually I love to write about happiness, relationship, mindfulness, etc. Like you write about productivity. So, would you think it’s good topic? Yes, some of my posts are going well. People love my content. So, with dedication and commitment, would you think to write on crowded niche. I feel frustrated when most people are writing on the same topic. I am working really hard on crafting my art. But when I see your articles, I think you are so simple but highly effective. You don’t use any complicated stuff. Your website is simple, your structure is simple, your ideas are simple yet people love your words. That means to be successful, you have to do few things right. Be simple as much as you can and talk what people care. Don’t complicate things ever. Play against the crowed. Now, I do in on my writing. I use your approach. I analyze your stretegy, I read your articles, books and everything. I copy your structure combined with my voice and started writing.
No one helped me like you. I never saw such a amazing author who touch your heart so deeply. Not even Rayn Holiday, Benjamin Hardy. I read them but not more then you. It’s because your simplicity and effectiveness of content. Sorry but I am going to copy your style and structure. It’s so attractive. When I will start my own blog, I will use this voice. It’s so powerful.
Again thank you.
Hey Hardik! Thanks for sharing this here. It truly means a lot. And I’m glad to hear you have found my website and content useful. You’re right about keeping thing simple. That’s always my goal.
Also, stealing is a good strategy to get started. If you keep writing, you will develop your own voice in time. That’s what will ultimately set you apart from the rest.
All the best!
Darius, thank you for sharing your life and experience with us. You are being useful and you are helping me become more useful. Love your honesty and style brother, keep on keeping on!
Thanks for the support, Dave! Means a lot! Very happy to hear that the blog is resonating with you.
Hi Darius. I suscribed to your newsletter, however the three links to download ‘The Road to Better Habits’ don’t work. Can you help me? Thanks. Best
You wrote this great article on truths about the workplace (https://dariusforoux.com/cold-hard-truths-about-the-workplace/) some time ago. I just kept nodding my head all through it because that’s exactly what I have observed in the last decade.
However, I’m wondering, have you written something, or do you know somewhere that someone who knows this and somehow goes entirely against the grain of it could get advice from? I always do well in my first months and then frustrations build and I just throw everything overboard. It also costs me a lot of energy to be that “good employee” because I feel like a square peg having to fit into a box with round holes. I understand I have a different “work ethos” that doesn’t fit well in the corporate world, so I’m constantly balancing my values with the need to earn a paycheck. More than once it’s also been suggested maybe I should freelance or be self employed, but that’s something I’d like to postpone for a few years so I can build up a better financial safety net first.
If anyone else here has been in this situation, I’d love to hear from you too.
Hi Mira! Thanks for reading. The ancient Stoics often said we can do 3 things in that case:
1. Change the situation
2. Accept it
3. Leave it
If you can’t change your environment or company, your effort will be a waste of time. It’s not something people like to hear. But it’s the truth. You and I can’t change the corporate world.
I’ve been reading your articles for a few months now and find them very useful! Currently I’m a stay-at-home-father of three, two of them are not school aged yet, one is a newborn. I wake up every morning at 3:00AM to do some reading, self-reflection, and exercise. By 5:00AM the house is up and moving and it doesn’t stop moving again until 8:00PM. Even then, I’m on an interrupted (3-5 times a night) 6 hour sleep schedule. My newborn needs to be held constantly, and my 1 year old needs attention as well. During all of this I’m putting together a children’s book as well (trying to create something outside of the family/household dynamic)
Between the constant feedings and diaper changes between the two, and trying to get in some productive time in I feel lost in it all.
Am I trying to do too much? I feel stressed out. I feel frustrated that I can’t be productive, because I can’t be as productive as I would like. I maybe get in 30 minutes of productive work time in a day. Should I lower my expectations, since expectations causes stress? Go with the flow? Should I reorganize and re-prioritize my two hours I get in the morning?
Have you ran across any parents trying to achieve something outside the household/family? Any tips?
I’m not sure if this is the right place to ask all of this, but I thought i’d give it a shot. Thanks for the great writing you do, keep it up!
One of my best friends also has 3 kids. His stories are similar. Like you, he also felt like he did too much. It’s all about finding that right level of comfort and challenge. But always be aware you’re not burning yourself out. That way we can’t help the people in our lives. Ultimately, being there for our family is more important.
trying to buy your book “How to get Sh*t done — ” and your website hates me. Got the name of a dealer in Portland OR but then everything got lost.
Can you help? It’s a Xmaspresent
I’d love to help but I don’t have a book with that title. I also don’t sell them on my site. Here are my books: https://dariusforoux.com/books/
Hi Darius, My name is Gabriel Younkin and just came across your content this morning. I began listening to your podcasts this morning while cleaning my room. As each podcast passed it became more interesting and drastically improved my motivation and confidence. Allowing me to begin a new project for a local restaurant where I work part-time.
Until recently, this small bar/grill only served beer and wine. So with the addition of a full liquor license and a change in management provided an opportunity for me to pursue my interest in marketing/creative design. Due to this a new cocktail menu needs to be designed. Moreover, the current menu looks like it was made on a Windows 98 computer. Hahaha.
With the HUGE push I received thanks to you alongside the few small steps I’ve made recently was transformative. Now, I am confident I can make a beautiful menu but my whole worldview shifted. I can not adequately express my gratitude to you for providing such quality content and inspiration.
Hi Gabriel! This is awesome. Glad to hear you’re inspired to take action. All the credit goes to yourself. Thanks for sharing!
I am interested in earning more money with child care after school or weekends giving children busy work that involves nature hikes or reading groups where they can learn while getting involved with other kids in town…..We could meet at a church or youth site In Daytona Beach Fl….Cindy Spies
I recently came across your book THINK STRAIGHT and i like it a lot
It’s like an answer to most of the questions I have in my life..
It inspired me at times i feel like giving up. I had an exam and i didn’t perform very well.
I kept on thinking about it like the thoughts never leave me alone. It was so hard to keep my focus on the present when there were things in past i regret and fears of what the future might hold for me
This book helped me in holding my nerves and focussing on present
Thank you for this amazing book!
Hey Anuj! Thanks for taking the time to write this. So glad to hear you’re inspired by the book. Keep at it!
Darius, I would like to share a recent article, with your name, of course, in an e-guide on become an effective communicator. Is that possible?
Hi Char. Sure, no problem. I would appreciate a link back to the original article. Thanks for sharing!
I’ve been listening your podcasts at Castbox every morning. And the last one was published 17th Jun 2019.
Do you plan to continue your podcast sessions ?
Thanks for listening! Appreciate it. I stopped the podcast to focus on new articles. And also, I’ve been thinking about changing the format of the podcast. But I do plan to bring it back! So if you have any feedback, feel free to share.
Hey Darius – A thumbs up to your efforts, articles and the like. I always forward your articles to my “kids”.
Something stuck in my head. There was one a while back..Can’t find it right now. Fear of starting I think? In the graphic, the stickman on the left, door in middle, big monster on other side of door.
I wanted to forward to my daughter. How about add…Stickman through the door, a little bigger, monster now shrunk way down and running away. Or maybe that was already there and I missed it! lol
Anyway. Cheers. Keep it going man!
Thanks, Travis! Appreciate that. Would be great if you could search my site like that! Maybe that will be available one day.
Do you mean the one on negative thought loops? That’s this one: https://dariusforoux.com/negative-thought-loop/
Hey Darius – – An idea for an article, because I would really like your thoughts: How do you know when it’s time to quit and move on?
Hey Mike, here are my thoughts on quitting: https://dariusforoux.com/quit/ and https://dariusforoux.com/i-quit/ Hope you find it useful.
I apalogize if you’ve already commented on this, I did try to seach through some of the comments but didn’t see anything.
Not an idea for an article, but just wondering about the “membership” option featured on your webpage, I tried to sign up but that didn’t seem like it was an option.
You have so many great articles – which is wonderful – but it’s kind of hard to sift through and find the ones I’m looking for, and when I do find something new but don’t have the time to read it ends up cluttering my browser until I have time for it.
Have you thought about letting people “favortie” or “save for later” your articles so that they’re easily accessible to view on your site.
Hi Miranda! The member page is for my students. You’re right, it wasn’t clear. I’ve changed the title in the menu to make that clear.
Thanks for the suggestion. I really like that thought. But that’s not possible with my site currently. I recommend using the Pocket app. It’s a great reader that even makes it possible to read articles offline!
I just wanted to let you know that internet is already full with the type of content you produce and yet your content is of top quality for me. Out of countless blogs giving advice on things, I’ve found yours to be the most actionable. I’m still learning to blog. I always find myself coming back to your blog to learn and find inspiration.
I discovered your articles through Art of Practicality blog (The Blog of Darius Foroux now) on Medium a few years back. Since then, you’re one of my favourite content creators. I’ve learned so much about creating a website, blogging and productivity from your blog. Always an inspiration. I’m grateful. Thanks!
P.S. Recently bought your book “Think Straight” on my Kindle.
Hey Clifford! Always a pleasure to hear from you. And this is truly the best feedback. Thank you for your support over the years. Let me know how it goes with your site!
I would say your book helped me to understand things in a practical way. Thank you for your work.
Appreciate that! Thanks for taking the time to write this.
Hey Darius! I just want to say that you inspire me. I love love love all your articles. I love reading it all. I hope you never stop doing what you do.
Thanks for the support, Dana! Appreciate that!
I just completed reading your book and I really like the thought process you are talking about.
But here is my problem I never had confidence that I get good marks and that’s all because of past experience I tried alot ,change my way of learning but end results most of the time remain unsatisfactory and that build a thought process inside me that for me it’s always hard to achieve or it depend on my luck and not on work. I tried alot to get out of this thought process but even after blocking all the negative thoughts this thought of result stays somewhere and I can’t able to distract myself from this thought.
I was stuck in life, i found it boring useless but thanks your book ‘Think straight’ given me hope and positive ideas, just started to follow you everywhere to get more knowledge.
Hey Gurtej! This is truly the best feedback you can get as an author. I’m very happy for you, my friend. Keep in touch.
You should read the Perennial Philosophy by Aldous Huxley if you seek meaning for your life while on this planet . His last advice on his deathbed that he left for posterity was-” try to be a little more kinder.”
Individual lives are short but eternity is forever .
Thanks for the recommendation. I like Huxley. I should check that out.
Enjoyed your article about books that change how you think, so I thought I’d share one of mine with you. That would be CEREMONY by Leslie Marmon Silko. I do believe that in times to come it will be recognized as one of the major 20th century American works of moral fiction.
Thanks, Dan. I haven’t heard of that book. Added it to my list!
Hello! I Dunno if this has been asked before, but in your articles I have often read that you don’t like meaningless conversations. I was wondering if you had an article or some thoughts about ways to stop having those conversations.
I don’t have an article on that specifically. If you want to practice this, I suggest practicing mindfulness. You can use those principles to tune out the noise. Very helpful.
I heard about your blog from a friend. I appreciate a lot the information you provide. Quite insightful. I do have a comment – question, that I think it’s essential to understand your work:
HOW DO YOU DEFINE HAPPINESS? I can’t find a definition of happiness in your write-ups, and without it, things don’t make complete sense. Can you define it?
Thanks a lot for your work!
Hi John, thanks for stopping by. That’s a great point. I write about my definition here: https://dariusforoux.com/happy/ But it remains abstract. To me, happiness is a purely internal concept.
Very inspiring content. I am looking for a mentor and wanted to get your thoughts on best ways to find one.
Hi Swagat, here are my tips: https://dariusforoux.com/how-to-find-mentors/
A big thanks to Darius, I used to hold Olympic titles in procrastination for not starting my blog.
Now my blog is underway. But I have started writing on Medium, where I got into contact with Darius.
My name on medium is Lawrence Kojo Austin. Or @realkojoaustin
Thanks to Darius…..
Hi Daruis, Thank you for sharing your last podcast on working from home. This was an eye-opener for me and a starting point for changing some things to feel better and get a better structure. I like that you concentrate on the main topics and your emphasise on things that can be controlled and not to care too much on things out of control. This was an inspiring talk! Thank’s & Greetings
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts! Glad to hear it was useful!
Hey, I was just finished reading your book, Think Straight, after dealt with some mentally issues that can cost the friendships and relationship between with myself and others. I admitted I think over, and still do, and I caught myself to stop right there. I assume that it’s because I just want to overthink because I am getting to excite to share with my thoughts. I want to say to thank you here because I am amused with how it stops my thoughts right there. I want to say thank you! Hope that it is and will be one of the guides to reduce (or stop – it will be awesome, and definitely will love to give your book a credit) my pesduoseizure/seizure-activity disorder.
Glad to hear this, Cecilia! That’s the best feedback!
I loved to read your latest article on Mental Toughness; congratulations on its clearness and style. Your perfect advice is: “Only worry about what matters to you. Everything else is noise. Simply shrug it off. When you’re dealing with emotions or situations that stand in the way of your highest aim in life, be indifferent to it.”
The problem I find is with the “shrug it off” part. This is because it simply cannot be done in cognitive terms. A new emotional approach (to be indifferent to something that matters) cannot be unlearned (meaning it now matters no longer) just by stating it or knowing it. Neuroscientists however, explain it can be done through what they call the top-down control mechanism: you send new instructions from the prefrontal cortex in the top of the brain down to the amygdala-orbitofrontal pathway where meaningful matters are stored. I have resorted to mindfulness meditation to unlearn previous meaningful stuff and move to the indifferent matters shelf. After that I feel I can shrug it off. Thanks a lot for your ideas for they prompted me to delve into it and gain an insight!
Thanks for reading, Martin. I get what you’re trying to say, but remember this: Do not limit yourself. Avoid saying things can’t be done. People have more power over their thoughts than they assume.
I’m enjoying the challenge of distilling my values. When I look at the article with your list, I think, “Great, no problem.” When I look at the list of 115 values, I think, “How can I cross off ____. It’s important.” For example health. And are there people worth knowing who wouldn’t put either love or friendship? Then there are the synonym ideas, e.g.: contribution, reliability, trustworthy… How to choose which one?
Also the question of nature arises. I don’t pride myself on being direct (as in a core value), but I am. Alternately, I wish I was a warmer person (aspirational value), but it’s not natural for me, and sometimes it is my directness that gets in my way.
Can something be a core value, even if it doesn’t rise to the level of another person’s idea? For example, can you be self-reliant if you aren’t a prepper; can you say ‘health’ if you don’t consistently work out? With this question, I am not asking for another’s approval, I am looking to force myself to be be honest about boundaries of individual core values.
I can be earnest to a fault. Is earnestness a core value? Can core values be negatives? You have few that could be negatives, though they list like positives. I’m thinking of ‘winning’, but for those who subscribe to the zero sum thinking, it means that if they are winning, all others must lose. Alternately, ‘love’ should always seem like a positive, but some people take it to an extreme which engenders softness/spoiling in their loved one, when perhaps some ‘tough love’ could be more appropriate.
I appreciate your thoughts on further winnowing down my list honestly and accurately.
Hi Mary! This is exactly the power of this exercise. It forces you to think about what matters to you. You’re actively uncovering your values. Keep asking yourself these questions and your core values will appear by themselves.
do you know any exersice for boys which will not improve my muscles.
i am skinny boy.
and i donot want to look more mascular.
Greetings from Sadasivam, ??. I’m 62 years old senior citizen. My family and friends are insisting me to take rest. I too feel tired because of their words. What should I do?
One of my mentors told me the same. But he kept working.
Your e-mails to me to confirm my e-mail address in not a spammer have not arrived in my in-box for some reason that seems to be inexplicable
My email provider says your email address “bounced.” That means your email refused the confirmation somehow.
Wow, what a community you’ve amassed here, Darius. Took a while to get down to this box. Firstly, I want to commend you for what you’ve turned this platform into. A place of genuine purpose not found much on other adversary sites. I don’t know how I wandered into this site but I’m glad I did. Finally, A person who I can mirror and journey with as I recently created a productivity tip blog (www.pavethewalk.com) but its on CMP mode (still working on it).
As a millennial, its already overwhelming seeing how many big giants are dominating the niche. After I read your article *on the law of momentum* I was rejuvenated. I needed to reach out to you somehow but I knew FB groups are not my thing only to meet this surprise. I know I need tutelage but I will keep striving, learning and putting out contents that drive resourcefulness and dexterity.
Most Importantly, I must say that your graphic designs, featured images,book covers, info-graphics etc are a 100. How do you achieve this? Can I reach this echelon? I bring this comment to a close while I ponder on these Qs and await your rich feedback.
Appreciate this, Archie! Sure, why not?! My graphic design skills are not the best in the world, but it works for me. And if you combine it with other skills, you’ll create a unique skill set. Everyone can do that!
I was researching pictures online and come across your blog when I found your picture for “One Step at a Time”.I’m glad I came across your work! I’m only a few articles in but your articles are wonderful and very insightful. I look forward to reading more of your work and checking out your podcast. Thank you for the amazing work you do!!
I read your book “Think Straight” and i liked it!!
I’m sparsh from India. I’m currently in 12th grade & simultaneously preparing for an engineering entrance exam(JEE) in which around 0.8 million people are going to compete. To get a decent college i’m gonna need a rank under 10000. The exam needs 2 years of consistent effort. Can you give some tips on how to concentrate for longer hours and avoid procrastination ?
That’s awesome! Good to hear this. Of course. Check out my best articles: https://dariusforoux.com/best-articles/ Should be enough to get started. All the best!
Heyy,okay so I just finished reading your book,full in one go. It is 2:02am in India when I am writing this comment. I am 18 years old. I have read many self help books but this is the best of the lot. Honestly. It is even more good cause I got it at the right time. Lately,int his lockdown and pandemic apart from the anxiety of corona virus,I had to write many competitive exams,so I had this additional pressure to study and excel. And in this lockdown my thoughts had literally negus to eat me alive. Lately I could not sleep cause I was thinking all the time,what I could do better,where may I end up int he future,reliving past as to what I must not have done all bs. Even I picked up the Kindle so that I could get better use of the time on hand. And I have no repent for the 2 hours spent on this book. It gave me sooooooo much reassurance that I am who I am and need not fir in to be accepted,just on thinking itself! I feel so relieved now. Thanks mannn! Really loved it.
Gonna get some sleep.
Haha that’s awesome, Garima! Thanks for taking the time to stop by here. Very glad that you feel more comfortable with who you are. That’s how life should be!
Hey!! my name is Swekcha and I am from India….First of all I want to thank you as a reader for giving us such a good book which really helped me lot in thinking straight. Till now I thought that I am the only one who have so many continuous thoughts in my mind that I am not able to concentrate in any other thing but after reading “Think Straight” now I know how I can slowly and gradually come out of this chaotic thinking zone. And just for your knowledge this is my first ever book which I completed other vise I am not a good reader and stop reading books in the midway but this one I completed in a go as all the stories and thoughts you wrote there were so relatable that I didn’t take my eyes off from this. So thank you for writing this and please continue to do so in the future also :) :)
You’re definitely alone! Glad you liked the book. And thanks for writing back!
I cannot thank you enough for writing a kick ass book that I completed in less 2 hours.
The website site an d all the community engagement is unparalleled anywhere .
I absolutely enjoyed the book and your awesome line: “So, please, go out there, and make good shit happen”. You are an awesome dude. Please keep up with all the good that you are doing. I appreciate everything that you are doing for us especially during this global pandemic where people have lost their minds due to the sheer challenges.
Hi Darius and Friends….. 👋👋
So I did a book review on THINK STRAIGHT!
Book title: THINK STRAIGHT.
By: Darius Foroux
Notes by: Ugbosu-Joe prosper oghenekome
From: Our book club by Ugoo.
“if you can change your mind, you can change your life”
– William James.
You Become What You Think
• Our thinking can be really controlled; we have the authority to choose our thoughts. We are indeed independent thinkers, it’s on our free will to choose thoughts for we become what we think!
• Bothering yourself on useless thoughts all day long, makes you enslaved in such thoughts, and I guess that’s your decision! You can choose to think of something else! Be careful! Your thoughts leads to action!
Why Do We Need A Book On Practical Thinking?
• The human brain is the most technical instrument given freely to man, we must learn how to use this instrument properly.
• We should get knowledge practically into our lives; it’s not enough to know.
• We shouldn’t make decisions due to temporary feelings such as emotional feeling.
Use What Works
• For better thinking and solution to your life’s problems, you will need to use your mind to get the solution to what you want and not the other way round.
• Practical thinking doesn’t deal with how smart one is, it deals with how you control and use your mind to solve major problems.
• It is necessary to get tips from successful people on life, but it would be delusional if you believe or follow just everything you hear. No! You need to get your clear fact although, the true is that which work. Getting facts, success stories, steps, tips or whatever is necessary, but it might not just fit into your own life; hence the need for you to mould this practically into your story.
Clear Thinking Requires Training
• We mustn’t lazy out our brains, we must be it to work by straining it to be more flexible, learning new things, figuring out ideas, investigation, facts and clarity. Don’t sit and watch your only supernatural instrument get old and weak, exercise it to perform better.
• It’s a step by step procedure, it needs proper training and effective practical learning.
From Chaos To Clarity
• During chaotic moments or situations we shouldn’t fill our brains or minds with thoughts of regret but of solution.
• All things are possible as there is solution to every problem as long as you have breathe of life, you just need to THINK STRAIGHT.
• Turn that chaos to clarity, look over the situation, think positively, what the way forward? What should I do now? These questions should fill your mind as you sit to answer them. It’s obvious that we will all encounter such chaotic moments cause things might not just work out as planned.
A (Very) Brief History Of Thinking
• We should think pragmatically, think hard for a specific purpose, to solve a problem, to detect what’s true or false with an open mind.
• Try writing down your thoughts, examine them, examine the source of your belief. Look into your belief system, are you a victim of prejudice? Are you just one of the followers of what the society says or belief? are you a zombie to the perception of others? Scrutinise your thoughts.
• Thought thinking is hard. You need to settle down, carefully thinking. Think hard, make the brain shrink.
Life Is Not Linear
• Focus! Stop your hallucinations! Life isn’t linear, it goes on a rugged path, up, down, slow, fast, steady, jumps, crashes, injures, repaired, happy, sad, weak, strong, c’mon mention them. Be ready to assume the journey, c’mon play the game with courage.
• Don’t focus your thoughts to a particular plan; as it is said: “don’t place all your eggs in a basket”. Have a back up plan!
• What if people are doing well in one area of business, or whatever? That’s not a guarantee you will also do well. My dear, train your thoughts to think of something fascinating, your own ideas, your own wisdom, scrape out the tiny pieces of opinions on your brain, filter them, match them together and bring out your superb idea.
Connect The Dots
Ha!😅 It looked like I was in spirit with the writer! I just thought connecting the dots in the previous chapter, now here it comes immediately after that.
Well, I won’t mention it again, but how do we connect the dots?
• Firstly, you will have to fill your brain with information. Information from every field of life, this makes your brain expand. You will need them in the future.
• As it is said, you look back not forward connecting the dots, so this information must have already been in your brain. Note that no knowledge is wasted, you might think you must have forgotten, but surprisingly when the time comes, the thoughts will connect and flow. Its like you investigating a crime, after catching the criminal, you will be like: “ oh! No wonder, I saw him at midnight with bloodstains 3 days back”. Now, 3 days back, you must have seen him, but made nothing out of it, but now you have connected it to this present experience.
Filter Your Thoughts
• Filtering your thoughts? Ha!😅 yes, I agree with you it sounds funny. But you do actually filter those thoughts biologically, sometimes, it happens naturally, other times we have to do it ourselves.
• Pragmatic thinking: true is what works. What works? That which works for you is what works and what’s true.
• Yield to your own self, belief and perception but be open minded. If an idea works for Mr. A it won’t certainly mean it would work for you!.
When I was in SS2, I needed a reading timetable, I practically used all my friends reading timetable, bought from bookshops timetable suggestions, none worked for me but that which I drafted out myself.
• Control your thoughts, boss! Control them, you have power over them, choose what you would think of, never get intimidated with useless thoughts out of worry, fear or intimidation. I remember when I was confronted at school by the teachers who stripped me of my supposed position as the head boy and made me the sanitary prefect, just because I didn’t partake in the mathematics promotion exam, cause I was late for school that day. After that incident, my whole head was rumbling with thoughts for a long time. I lost focus, I was just talking to myself imagining what I could have said to defend myself to those teachers. I looked in the mirror everyday, giving a speech to visual teachers in my head, telling them every leader makes an unavoidable mistake due to circumstances and they should be happy that all through my 5 years in school, they could at least detect just one. I was intimidated by these thoughts, I couldn’t focus at school, at home, at church, anywhere, I couldn’t even sleep and worse of all couldn’t tell anyone not even my friend who was made the head boy.
Inside Your Control vs Outside Your Control
• This is it! From my brief experience above, I was thought about the past all time long and I knew I couldn’t really do anything to change it. Should I go and tell them, I’m sorry and beg the teachers to assume positions back from the already appointed head boy? Oh no! That’s useless!.
• Don’t fantasize about the future, be realistic for crying out loud! Don’t waste your Precious time in a fairy tale, which can never be possible. I remember my cousin when we were little kids, he was always talking about how he would grow up to join the power rangers, such wonderful fantasies. Ha!😅
Don’t Trust Your Mind
• Your judgements might be wrong, who knows? Don’t be quick to make decisions, look over it from all angles, trust not only your beliefs or perception or knowledge. Listen!
• Understand the various cognitive biases.
Look At Facts
• Yes! We are mostly based on assumption. Look at the main facts, I’m going to write down a story on this, but won’t share it with you, cause it would make my notes look long. The fact here is that, I know if I share this, majority of the group members won’t read it. I am just dropping these notes cause, it’s my fair share of obligation to the club, sorry to say. Do you want evidences? Okay, message me, if you read this note. We are humans, majority of humans are followers not leaders, and hence not readers, we are only interested in getting and dropping our own ideas. We forget that we should also try to hear from others, to try hearing from a different perspective. When I post poems online, I get comments like “ you’re the best”, “such lovely poem”, “so touching”, “you made my day”. I would naturally assume that they all read the poem. No dear, facts: most of them didn’t! I expected they spend at least a minute on the poem, from my time duration on my WhatsApp, it shows 3 poems was viewed within one minute. I investigated this, and some admitted the fact.
True Vs UNTRUE
Now here comes the big blow!
• Facts might not sometimes be the truth, coming to my experience with my poems, 3 of those I confronted, explained to me why it shows that way of the timing. For instance, their Network gets bad and the pictures hardly loads, they move over to the next to successfully load all pictures or videos then go back to read or watch. I reasoned this and found out that the fact wasn’t really the truth. The writer gave example with God. Fact: “anything we don’t see doesn’t really exist” Truth: we believe God exists and can feel his presence in our lives. Are we living in an unreal world? No! It’s life for you…..
Take Your Time To Think
• Take your time to think!! Omo!!! Never trust your first answer, thought or idea, oh! I read this book and connect the dots with all past experiences and every area of life, I try to see if the writer knows about what he’s saying. You can see, my examples are totally different from the writer’s focus. I know what I’m doing! Ha!😅 .
• Admitting you don’t know something gives you room to learn, but answering something you don’t even have an idea on just to prove how smart you are to others, breeds confusion and yields destruction. Some Pastors, priests and preachers of nowadays force themselves to answer intriguing questions from members just to prove their knowledgeable, instead of admitting they don’t really know and then take time to consult with the holy Spirit and think wide and slowly then get the wisdom to answer the question later. This is the major reason Christians fight each other over differing beliefs.
No More Quick Decisions
• Before making future or major decisions, think it through!
• Stop pressurizing yourself to give immediate response. I want to reveal a secret. Sometimes, I say yes without realizing it, to a task. I feel after saying yes, I must do it, but if I say I would think about it, I might end up shying away. I stopped this for fear, that it might one day, backfire. Recently, I adopted another strategy for urgent task request. After been requested to do something, I do the thing first before, accepting. Ha!😅. Weirdo! I do this cause I’m scared to disappoint someone sometimes. It’s not really advisable or applicable to all situation, the best thing to do, is thinking it through, before replying.
Release Your Mind
• Wow oh wow! WOWZA! As I keep reading this book, I feel my life’s getting more practically sensible. “breaking the wall to the next stage”.
• It becomes easier facing the challenges associated with your success when your mentality is changed. Darius’ mentality changed from “illness” to “next stage (development or progress)”. Hence he knew his tactics.
Draw Your Thoughts
• Really? Yes! Visualizing your thoughts goes a long way, it makes more sense out of it. I won’t emphasize much I think I have stressed my Android keyboard enough!
Be Yourself (Not What You Should Be)
“Conquer yourself rather than the world.”
― René Descartes
• Discover and know yourself. Act on yourself, on your purpose, on who you really are (what makes you up) like it or not, some opportunities, stories, jobs, countries, people…. Aren’t meant for you. You will have to manage this or else you will end up wasting your time and resources.
Take Time To Reflect
• Keep track of your life, journalling is a good idea for that, note down your goals, progress, achievements, desires, failures and most importantly your life. This might not necessarily be for publication but for you to read regularly to reflect on your life and know yourself better because it’s useful.
My Money Rules
• Be conscious of your handling with money; avoid thinking of money too much. Plan a strategize, remember not to spend unnecessarily on things you don’t need. Resist your desires for such things. Remember to invest and save.
Don’t Try To Think Your Way Out Of Everything
• Overthinking sometimes yields bad ideas. Sometimes we let go of our thoughts and good ideas wander in. Imagine at breakfast you just got an idea to your biggest problem. You should let go of your thoughts sometimes and relax. Relax you don’t necessarily need music, yoga classes, you just need yourself and can do this anywhere and anytime just let go!
• You have to think outside the box, who knows? The price might just be outside the box when you limit yourself to think within the box. Think broadly! And not always in a binary manner.
Don’t Ask Why
• Don’t underestimate your weaknesses. Small things can become big!
• Don’t ask why something occurs instead find a way out of the obstacle.
• Don’t partake in favoritism.
• Be always conscious and disciplined in what you do.
Think About The Details Even More
• Don’t overlook the details, take whatever you do seriously and not in a hurry.
• Be ready to develop yourself patiently to give a better outcome of what you do.
Take Thinking Out of The Equation
• The idea here is to make sure your actions are greater than your thinking. You think only when there is a problem to be solved, for example. Then you draft out a system (set rules) to solve this problem by thinking. After this, let your actions do the rest. You can rethink when the system doesn’t work out.
Don’t Live With Regrets
• You only regret those things you didn’t do.
• Follow your strongest desires (ikigai) rather than pursuing someone else’s life.
Never Look Back
• Look back only to learn but don’t stare at it for too long; life happens now!
• You can as well eliminate things or habits that constantly drags your thinking to the past.
• In anything you do, be prepared to do it well or Don’t do it at all.
Spend Your Time Well
• Effective thoughts; effective actions. Thinking without action is a real waste of time. Think only about things like your future, solving problems, planning a vacation for family or loved one, new ideas, how to make your life better, how to grow your career or business…..
• Sometimes, we need to stop thinking and start feeling. Live life in the moment and enjoy it to the fullest.
• You need to find time to create peace inside of you. Be one with your thoughts through active meditation and let them go.
• You can learn to control your thoughts.
Think Beyond Yourself
• Think Pragmatically, don’t waste time on abstract thoughts that wouldn’t be of help to anyone.
• Try to read this book: principles of psychology by William James
• In anything you do, make sure it has a positive impact on the lives of people.
Thank You: A Gift
Pragmatism and Other Writings by William James The Thought And Character Of William by Ralph Barton Perry
Pragmatism: A Reader by Louis Menand
The End … .
As a young poet from Nigeria, I also wrote a poem on this!
You can as well read this poem I wrote after reading a book by Daniel Foroux, titled Think straight. I titled my poem, “set to swim”.
I’m all set to swim in wandering thoughts.
my head ranges with thoughts from past.
my mind battles with random memories.
I’m about to dive into the sea of thoughts!
hold me, save me from drowning.
I’m drowning in thoughts of past.
I’m drowning in useless thoughts.
can I control these thoughts?
yes! my child, a thin voice within me says.
you can get hold of your thoughts!
you can swim out, as well as swimming in to good thoughts.
just think straight!
Thank you for reading and I hope you achieve this your positive mission.
Thank you for writing this book. I am facing some tough situations in my life. When your parents get involved in every aspect of your life. When your own family become your enemy. I started reading your book and yet to finish but through this book I took my first step. I actually felt a lot better when I took stand for myself. I cried a lot. Felt like some burden is getting off from my heart. Because of me my husband, who loves me like no one else, was facing the same problem with me. I know reaching at that stage, where you can actually feel that you can take decision and make them right, is still difficult. But I am not going to give up on me. Thanks again. Keep writing such books, through your books someone like me might get saved.
Hi Sailee! Thanks for taking the time to share this. I really appreciate it and am very glad to hear you took the first step! That’s the most important one. All credit goes to yourself. Never give up on yourself. Feel free to stay in touch! And thanks for the support.
Hi Darius. I’m glad to have found this blog while searching for something else on the net, even though that post was from 2015, it surprised me after looking up the archive that you’re still uploading content, so here’s a new follower :)
That’s awesome, Said! Welcome to the blog!
Headed here after clicking the link on the eBook – Think Straight. That “don’t wait for an all lost moment” line was more than valuable. Thanks Darius
Great compact book! I was overthinking the politics happening at my workplace due to over thinking and taking myself into a useless loop of only thought. I created a negativity within my mind that was impacting my performance.
Reading your book allowed me to reflect on things I should change to again go into a positive achiever’s frame of mind.
Great to hear that, Atul! Thanks for taking the time to share this. All the best!
Hi Darius and the Community,
I’m just a growing-up youngster who sometimes takes the backlash and everyone around me too seriously. Life is hard, it is a series of tests, but my thought patterns made it hell. I wanted to figure out if there is any way to change that. So, I purchased many books on emotional intelligence and mindfulness (I’m an avid reader, an anti-social bookworm).
From all of the options I had, I started reading your THINK STRAIGHT first because of the picture on its title.
The title wasn’t interesting for me, but the picture is.
It was like a mirror picture of what was inside my head and how I wanted it to be.
To be honest, I liked that ‘silent mind’ idea. I have been practicing it since the day I read that chapter, and it is amazing to walk on the street with a silent mind and feel everything. LIVING IN NOW.
I’m in love with those moments where I do not think of my future, the regrets of the past – just wind, walk, street, me, my presence.
I do not read books in PDF. I don’t like that. So, going to purchase your other written ones as well.
Bushra Khan (Ms.)
Food Technologist | Content Marketer
That’s great feedback, Bushra! Thanks for sharing. And appreciate the support.
I just recently discovered you through your book and man your work is so underrated. Thank you so much for the growth package, it means a lot.
I’m a 21 year old woman still living with my mom, and for quite some time, I’ve been struggling with the feeling of not doing enough for my future.
From a young age I’ve been someone who set such high standards for myself, always believing that I always need to be at the top of everything, and I need to do everything perfectly. So I always thought I’d graduate high school with good marks, get scholarships for pursuing a high end job, and that by this age I’d have secured the bag already.
What I didn’t realize is that obsessing over this only had the opposite effect, and that only by my senior year I’d come to terms with having mental health issues. While spending some time dealing with them, I saw time pass in such a flash. Though I have earned some certifications, I kind of felt angry at myself for not having achieved more.
Thankfully, I have learnt to challenge those voices in my head that say I’m not doing enough cuz all they do is to trigger the fear of failure and rejection, and we all know how they can impair productivity.
And even when my family still puts pressure on me to do something with my life, I know that I have achieved something powerful through these years, and it’s to change the way my mind sees things.
Due to past traumas, I may need more time to master my mind, and that’s okay. See, I’ve tried to get to the top without the right mindset before. This time, I wanna do it in a way tailored for someone like me.
So I’ve learnt that instead of pursuing who society thinks I should be, that coming to my authentic self, connecting with my natural instincts will lead me to my destiny.
One of the meditation techniques I use to deal with the perfectionism complex is to tell myself to just “half-ass” whatever it is I’m doing. It helps me actually get started instead of procrastinating. And if I keep giving it less effort, I’m tricking myself to going for it even when initially didn’t feel like it. Eventually, those little efforts done repetitively will lead to you having cleaned that room or finished that course or book or whatever.
I happy to join the community and I hope that we can be there to help each other understand things when there’s questions asked.
Hi Dee! That’s amazing. What a great mindset. Everyone is on a different timeline. And it’s definitely okay if you take more time to master your mind. It’s something that will pay off for the rest of your life. Welcome to the community. And feel free to stay in touch.
I love your work and I’ve watched all your youtube videos. It’s been a while since you posted and I do hope everything is alright. I also hope that there are more videos coming in the future, at whatever pace is taken.
Glad to hear that! I occasionally create videos but I enjoy writing more. That’s why I also write more.
Hi, I’m Vimal from Malaysia. Your writing really makes me to think a lot. Especially “Think Straight”. I have read “Win your inner battle”, “What it takes to be free”. All these was eye opener for me. I really appreciate your sharing through writing. Looking forward to meet you one day for a cup of coffee.
Thanks for reading! Appreciate this!
Hi, I am inspired and motivated by your book ‘Think Straight’. I have this habit of sayings things before thinking and I tend to forget phrases while speaking, How can I improve on these challenges.
Glad to hear that! You can improve by being aware of it. The more you become aware of it, the better you’re able to deal with it.
hey, I am Yesha Patel. I am a masters student, finding a way out of life. I am stuck in my personal and professional life and so I turned to non-fictional books. I believe that what happens for good and we are destined to be somewhere in life. However, living in the moment and going through the process to the end result is not turning out to be in my favour. I am more sad than happy when it comes to everyday life adjustments. Reading this book was fun and interactive. I learned to take one step at a time again. I am practicing to shut down my brain when it goes to places I am not benefited. I am being tough day by day, but I am trying not to be rude and to push my family away in his process of finding a professional satisfaction.
That’s amazing. Really glad to hear this! Thanks for reading and taking the time to write back.