I want to share a theory I’ve been developing for years.
Most of our problems are not real. They’re linguistic.
They exist in the words you use to describe your situation, not in the situation itself.
In other words, if you change your words, you can make your problems go away.
Because what if the things you label as problems are not even problems in the first place?
I know that might sound too simple.
Stay with me.
I’ll never forget a moment early in my career at an IT research firm.
I’d been there a few months. Quiet, observant, still figuring out my place.
Then one day, sitting in a meeting, I had an idea. In my mind, I was already imagining myself sharing my genius idea and looking at all the impressed faces.
So I waited for the right moment, and I said it.
I got nothing. Literally no response at all.
The conversation just moved on like I hadn’t said a word.
Most people treat a wandering mind like a defect. They see it as a leak in their productivity bucket.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that if we aren’t staring at a screen or checking off a to-do list, we are failing.
But Daniel Goleman, the psychologist who popularized Emotional Intelligence, argues the opposite in his book Focus:
“The mind’s wandering is a source of creative ideas… The problem is not that our minds wander; it’s that they wander away from what matters.”
That line matters because it exposes a modern lie: You can’t be “on” all the time.
But when you try to stay “on” 24/7, you don’t actually get more done.
You just become mentally exhausted, less creative, and ironically, unable to focus when it actually counts.
I want to tell you a story about purpose in three parts.
Let’s start.
Most of us start our lives on autopilot.
It’s not because we’re lazy. It’s because we’ve been trained to follow “The Script.”
You know the one: Get the degree. Get the job. Get the promotion. Make some money. And so forth.
I followed the script perfectly until I was 28. From the outside, my life looked fine. Inside, I always felt that something was missing.