Adopting habits with a positive return is one of the most effective self-improvement strategies. That’s why so much advice revolves around changing one’s mind and habits. 

However, there’s a downside that gets ignored by every habits-expert. The 17th century English poet, John Dryden said it best: 

“We first make our habits, then our habits make us.” 

The beauty of this quote is the duality it expresses. You can read that quote and find confirmation that habits are good for you. Once you form a habit, the habit will do the work for you. You no longer have to think about performing an action. Whether it’s working out, writing, being grateful, and so forth.

In my twenties, I often found myself aimless in life. It seemed like every other week, I had no idea what to do next in my life and career. I had no certainty. Do you know how that feels? It’s a feeling of unease. 

A random thought or event would trigger worry, and before I knew it, I felt confused. It could be anything. Maybe I read something on the news about rising house prices, a potential recession, or increasing crime rates.

Or, it could be co-workers that caused confusion with stories about so and so who lost his job and couldn’t pay his mortgage. You know how people gossip and talk, right? “You wouldn’t believe this!” That’s what people say before they share some weird story that’s not even relevant to you.

One of my friends recently experienced sudden bouts of anxiety. Since he knew I’ve been there too, he asked me: “How do you deal with anxiety?”

That’s a good question. In the past, I looked for ways to “get over” or “beat” anxiety. I was looking for a cure.

After reading dozens of books and hundreds of articles on the subject, I’ve found the answer: Anxiety can’t be cured. It must be dealt with.

Dealing with anxiety is an ongoing battle for most of us. It’s not a game or tournament. It’s not like you can beat anxiety once and be over with it forever.

Too often, people say they have “beaten” anxiety. I don’t buy that. The only way you can truly beat anxiety is if you hide from life’s hardship.