Perception is Reality

Do you ever feel misunderstood by others? Maybe you feel that people at work don’t get you. Or that your friends are not on the same page.

Maybe others truly don’t get you. But that’s not because of them, it’s most likely because of your own behavior. I’ll tell you why.

When I started working for a major IT research firm in London several years ago, it was the first time I worked in an organization with thousands of people.

On my floor alone, there were probably two hundred people at work. For me, it was the first time that I was a part of such a big team.

One of the most important lessons I have learned from my mentor about working in large teams is this: People can only judge their perception of you. And often, there’s a difference between perception and reality, right?

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Say What You Think And Don’t Be Apologetic About It

say what you think

Have you ever stated your opinion only to be shot down by someone else? Maybe by your spouse, boss, parents, or best friend? Or even a stranger? It happened to me many times in the past. Saying what you think is hard.

Growing up, I always had an opinion about everything. Having an opinion doesn’t mean you know everything. It just means you have something to say. You could be wrong.

But often, my teachers, friends, girlfriends, co-workers, and even friends would immediately say things like, “That’s not true!” So gradually, I gave up speaking my mind. I became afraid.

Last week, I published an article about why I avoid toxic people. I mentioned that I think less than 1% of the population has values.

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The Best Investment Decision I Have Ever Made

When I got my business degree in 2011, I was ready to start my career.

I wanted to start a business, earn money, and also invest. Those were my main priorities for the past seven years.

I did all those things. Do you know what I found?

Every decision you make in life is either an investment or a waste.

Here’s what I mean:

  • Browsing social media for hours is a waste of your time
  • Eating junk food is a waste of your health
  • Having a job that makes you miserable is a waste of your energy

Similarly:

  • Working out is an investment in your health
  • Spending time with people you care about is an investment in relationships and personal wellbeing
  • Reading, taking courses, watching informational videos, are investments in your education

Those last three things are all good. And investing in your education has the highest return on investment. Why?

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Stop Giving Toxic People Your Time

Do you ever get upset about the nasty behavior of your co-workers, friends, or even family? Well, if you let others upset you, it’s not their fault.

“It’s not me, it’s him!” is what most of us say. We’re always quick to blame others for how we feel.

We say that others make us feel that way. But that’s false. You decide how you feel about the things that happen in your life.

Events can’t harm us. Our perception of an event harms us. That’s one of the most important ideas of Stoic philosophy.

In other words, you decide what meaning you give to the things that happen in your life. If your friend tells lies about you behind your back, and you get upset, that’s because you decided to get upset.

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