In January 2015, I don’t think I got a single good night of sleep.
My grandmother had been in the hospital while I was away on a New Year’s vacation with my girlfriend at the time. My family back home hadn’t told me how serious the situation was. After my grandmother passed away, my mind kept going back to the same question:
What if I hadn’t gone on that vacation?
The relationship wasn’t in a good place either. So that created a new set of questions. What if I had ended it earlier? What if I stayed? What if I ended up alone?
My job also felt wrong. I was dealing with a teammate who was backstabbing me, and I kept thinking: What if I had seen it earlier? What if I quit? What would a hole in my résumé do to my career?
