There’s a big chance that you’re currently not satisfied with something in your life. What’s something you feel like you’re lacking?
- More money?
- A rich social life?
- Being happily married?
- The freedom to travel the world?
Even if you’re satisfied with your life today, there must have been a time when you were not. And at some point, you will probably feel like that again.
I’ve had that state of mind many times. In fact, I was dissatisfied with my life during most of my adult years.
It’s only in the last couple of years that I learned what it means to feel satisfied. Before that, I was always seeking.
But was I really seeking?
What are you seeking?
It probably depends on the day. When it was cold, I was dreaming about moving somewhere warm. When I was single, I thought how great it would be to have a relationship. And in some of my early relationships, I sometimes longed for the single life.
There’s always something. Something that makes you feel like what you have is not enough.
In my experience, there are three main reasons why so many people are never satisfied.
1. Their mind gets in the way
Most people live in their heads more than they live in their actual lives. Your mind is supposed to be a tool, but if you don’t train it, it becomes a problem.
You know the cycle. You think about what you don’t have, what might go wrong, what someone else has, or what future version of you might enjoy one day. You get stuck in imaginary scenarios while your real life is happening without you.
A mind that constantly points out what is missing will never let you feel satisfied. Even when you get what you want, your mind quickly shifts the goal. It finds a new problem. A new desire. A new comparison.
If you don’t get control over your thoughts, your thoughts will control your sense of satisfaction. And if you let that happen, you will spend your whole life chasing a feeling that never arrives.
2. They seek the validation of others
Nothing kills satisfaction faster than living for someone else’s approval. You can achieve something amazing, but when your self-worth depends on the reactions of others, even your wins feel empty.
If the point of your life is to impress, please, or prove something to the outside world, you will always fall short. Because the outside world never stops asking for more. You get the approval, then you need a little more. You get the praise, then you want a bigger audience. You get the recognition, then you begin to fear losing it.
External validation is an addiction. The first hit feels good. After that, you spend years chasing the same feeling.
You cannot feel satisfied when your emotional state depends on someone else’s reaction. You will be pulled in a hundred different directions, none of which are actually yours.
3. They don’t know what they want
This might be the biggest reason. Most people never sit down and ask themselves a simple question.
What do I actually want?
Not what you should want. Not what your parents want. Not what your friends want. Not what Instagram says you should want.
You.
What do you want?
Many people never answer that question. They drift. They chase whatever looks shiny. They pursue whatever their environment rewards. They confuse desire with clarity. They follow momentum instead of intention.
When you don’t know what you want, satisfaction becomes impossible. Because how can you feel satisfied if you never chose the path you’re on in the first place?
Clarity is underrated. It’s one of the few things in life that instantly reduces anxiety. When you know what you want, you stop chasing everything else. You stop comparing. You stop overthinking. You stop trying to live three lives at once.
You become satisfied, not because your life is perfect, but because your direction is finally yours.
Stop seeking, and you will have what you wanted
The older I get, the more I believe in the ideas behind determinism.
Determinism means that everything you do is shaped by your nature, your past, and your circumstances, so in the moment, you could only have acted one way.
Let me give you an example from this year. In addition to my long-term stock market investing strategy, I also have a trading account where I actively trade stocks.
In the beginning of the year, I sold all my stocks because I was uneasy about the market. I suspected the market would decline. So I told myself, “Be patient and go hard when opportunity comes your way.”
So in April, during the Tariff Tantrum, the market went down nearly twenty percent. Once the market was down about fifteen percent, I started buying a lot of stocks. I deployed all my cash. At some point, I was so certain the market would recover that I also went on margin.
That’s when you borrow money from your broker to buy stocks. It’s a risky strategy that can backfire hard. But within a couple of days of me going on margin, the market started to turn.
Stocks were up fast. I owned about seven hundred fifty thousand in stocks in my trading account alone. A few weeks later, when I was up about ten percent on the year, I sold about half of my stocks. I thought the market would go down again, so I told myself, “Sell now and buy back later.”
But stocks kept going up and I missed out on huge gains.
I kept beating myself up over that during the summer. I didn’t do anything stupid in the market, but I was angry.
After a while, it hit me.
It was the only thing I could have done. No matter what happened, my actions were determined. There was nothing I could do about it. I would have made that same decision to sell.
I simply took on too much risk for my taste. I’m not a margin type of guy. And if I do it, it’s always for short periods, not for months.
So yeah, in an ideal world I would have doubled that seven hundred fifty thousand by now, but there was no way I would have held on to all my positions. I’m glad I stayed invested in the market, so I can’t complain.
I’m satisfied with my gains.
And that, my friend, is the story of many of our lives.
It could be a lot better, but it’s pretty, pretty, pretty good as it is.
