In part I, we agreed on the fact that life is hard. Whether you have perfect looks, a stacked bank account, live in a mansion, and drive a fancy car, you still have to deal with the bad things that we humans experience.
Death, loss, illness, criticism, failure, inner turmoil, insecurity, you name it.
Those things will come for all of us at some point in our lives. It’s not a matter of if but when you deal with hard things.
So instead of trying to avoid the hardships of life, train yourself to deal with them better.
And how can you do that best? By becoming more mentally tough.
If you make mental toughness one of your primary aims in life, like eating food so you don’t starve and earning a living so you can survive, you’ll put yourself in a good position to live well.
In this article, I’ll share some of the key lessons I’ve learned about becoming more mentally tough.
1. Believe in the aphorism “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is the famous aphorism from 19th-century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, who wrote it in his 1888 book Twilight of the Idols as “Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker.”
To be honest, I find this phrase corny and overused. I’ve tried to look at it in different ways.
For example, you can say, what doesn’t kill you simply doesn’t kill you. In fact, that’s what happens to most people. The hard things they go through don’t change them. They just happen to them.
Or you can say, what doesn’t kill you today might kill you tomorrow. If you take a lot of risks and put yourself in dangerous situations, it’s only a matter of time before something bad happens.
But I always remember that I’m into practical philosophy, not the academic type. We shouldn’t overanalyze philosophical concepts.
The truth is that you’re still here. You went through the challenges that life threw at you.
The problem is that most people assume life should be easy.
“Oh, if I only had more money, better looks, was a little taller, or lived in that place, I’d have a GREAT life!”
Yeah, right.
Just get over that type of thinking. Prepare yourself for a life of hardship. If you face challenges, say to yourself, “This is normal.” And if everything in your life goes smoothly, say thank you 500 times a day.
The truth is that every challenge you face has the potential to make you stronger. So if you look at it that way, what doesn’t kill you in life is actually a gift, a gift to get stronger.
2. Mindset is everything
To become physically stronger, you have to put stress on your body. If you repeat that process, your body adapts by getting stronger.
Your mind doesn’t quite work the same way. If it did, the people who had tough childhoods would be the most mentally tough people in the world.
Mental toughness is purely mindset.
Yes, I know David Goggins and the legions of his imitators who claim that running marathons and doing Ironmans make you mentally tougher. That’s just not true.
Look at the Stoics and all the other philosophers who talked about mental toughness. None of them made those types of claims.
The fact is that the body follows the mind. If you have mental toughness, you’re better equipped to do hard physical things. But ultimately, physical challenges are also a matter of genetics.
When it comes to mindset, though, it’s a more equal playing field. Sure, there are inherited mental conditions. But as long as you’re mentally sound, which is something you should be grateful for, you’re in a position to become more mentally tough.
You just have to realize that it’s all in your mind.
3. A few ways to keep your mind sharp
Now, all of this doesn’t mean you can tell yourself, “Hey mind, just be tougher.”
Improving your mental toughness takes work. The best way to do that is to keep your mind sharp.
I believe that the natural state of mind is one of complacency. Most of our days are a repetition of the prior day. That’s why so many of us get bored and lazy. We stop doing the things that keep our minds sharp.
And that’s the biggest mistake you can make. Because if your mind is sharp and aware, it reminds you to stay strong during hard times and not to complain or feel sorry for yourself.
Here’s how you keep your mind sharp:
- Read non-fiction books about topics you want to learn. I’m personally always interested in ways to become a better writer, thinker, and investor. So I’m always reading a book that helps me with that. The deeper the book, the longer it takes to finish it, which is actually a good sign.
- Journal daily. Writing clears your mind. It helps you turn emotional reactions into clear thoughts. When you write about what bothers you, it loses power over you.
- Work out. Staying healthy and active gives you the energy to handle stress. Physical training doesn’t automatically make you mentally tough, but it builds discipline, and discipline strengthens the mind.
- Limit distractions. A distracted mind is a weak mind. Every time you check your phone or scroll aimlessly, you lose focus and attention span. Practice single-tasking. Train your mind to do one thing deeply.
- Spend time alone. Solitude resets your brain. When you’re always surrounded by noise, opinions, and stimulation, you stop hearing your own thoughts. Spend time walking, thinking, or just sitting without input.
- Reflect before reacting. Sharp thinkers don’t react fast. They pause, think, and then respond. Whether it’s an email, argument, or setback, slow down your reaction time. That’s real strength.
- Keep your emotions in check. Your mind gets dull when emotions take over. Learn to notice anger, fear, or envy the moment they show up. Don’t suppress them, but don’t feed them either. Observe, breathe, move on.
- Simplify your life. Complexity drains mental energy. Cut unnecessary commitments, gossip, and clutter. A sharp mind thrives in a simple environment.
- Expose yourself to different ideas. Read philosophy, science, history, art. Talk to people you disagree with. Challenge your assumptions. Mental sharpness dies when you live in an echo chamber.
When your mind is consistently exposed to challenge, reflection, and learning, it becomes sharper, and a sharp mind is a strong mind.
Mental toughness is for everyone
Not just Navy SEALs or people with hard jobs.
Mental toughness is for the parent who gets up every day to take care of their kids while trying to improve their life. It’s for the person working through anxiety or grief and still showing up. It’s for anyone who refuses to quit, no matter what life throws their way.
You don’t need to run an ultramarathon or climb Everest to prove your strength. You just need to keep going when you don’t feel like it.
That’s what mental toughness really is. It’s not about pretending you’re invincible. It’s about getting hit, getting up, and saying, “That’s all you’ve got?”
Because what doesn’t kill you, if you let it, really does make you stronger.
