In her book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, psychologist Susan Cain talked about the “Extrovert Ideal” when it comes to people’s confidence.
It’s the widespread belief that being outgoing, assertive, and socially proactive makes a person successful.
But what about the introvert? Having confidence as an introvert isn’t talked about much.
When you look at social media, it’s no wonder that many people think this way. Most of the things we see online are often loud and adventurous people having the time of their lives or leading billion-dollar companies.
But even the most successful folks in the world aren’t all extroverts. Think about people like Warren Buffett or Cathie Wood. They’re not loud or always visible. But when they talk, they share a lot of wisdom. And their success speaks for itself.
The importance of “Quiet Confidence”
Buffett’s investment strategies are a great example. Buffett spends five to six hours each day just reading. He’s all about thorough research and long-term thinking, not getting caught up in the noise and haste of Wall Street.1Source:MarketWatch
As it turns out, introversion has its own set of strengths and advantages. According to Susan Cain, some of these strengths include:
- Deep thinking and introspection – Introverts tend to reflect more deeply on situations and events, which can lead to better problem-solving abilities and decision-making.
- Creativity – Many introverts have rich inner lives and can tap into their imagination easily. This allows them to come up with unique ideas and solutions that may not occur to extroverts.
- Empathy – Introverted individuals can better connect with others on a deeper level and understand their perspectives. This makes them great listeners and effective communicators.
- Being focused and self-sufficient – Introverts are naturally more independent and can work well on their own. They are able to concentrate for longer periods of time without distractions, making them highly productive.
These strengths benefit individuals and society as a whole. Introverted leaders, for example, bring a unique perspective to problem-solving that can lead to more effective solutions.
Leverage solitude for personal growth
It’s okay to enjoy your alone time as long as you’re not spending too much time alone. Being alone for too long is also not enjoyable for most of us. But if you can’t be alone for a day or two, it’s time to train yourself to be more independent.
Use your alone time to improve yourself: Read books, listen to podcasts, watch documentaries, etc. Improve your brain. It’s one of your biggest assets.
Use this time to improve your self-awareness. Sit with your thoughts and desires. Learn to identify what truly makes you happy and fulfilled.
Of course, try not to forget to balance everything with enough social interaction. Keep yourself connected and engaged with the world around you.
Once you have improved yourself in your alone time – these skills will help you be more confident when you go out into the world.
Focus on quality social time
Look, we all need to have social lives. Too much isolation isn’t helpful. And science has shown that loneliness can make you physically ill.2Source: American Psychological Association
Besides, even introverts enjoy good company. It’s all a matter of being with people we care about and can learn from. Try to avoid social situations where you only go because you’re “obligated.” Like parties with co-workers, you don’t like.
When you’re with the right people, ensure you’re truly present.
Don’t let your phone distract you from a family dinner or a night out with your partner. Instead, try to engage in meaningful conversations. You can also try new activities together or enjoy each other’s company.
Speak up when you must
Introversion is not synonymous with silence and always staying inside our own little world. We also must go out there and contribute. We can have confidence as an introvert. And look, it doesn’t have to be something big.
It can be as simple as sharing how you feel about a situation with your partner. It can be speaking up at work because you feel like something can be done in a different way.
But at the end of the day, your actions are the most important thing. The Philosopher-King Marcus Aurelius was someone who did a lot of introspection. In one of his notes to himself, he reminded himself:
“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”
This is how the loop works. You develop your introverted side. You get comfortable with yourself. You speak up. You do what you say.
And naturally, you become more self-confident.
