How To Figure Out The Next Big Move In Your Life Journey

what should I do

Life is complex. One day you’re happy, working on your daily tasks, and the next day you wake up, thinking: “What the fuck should I do with my life?”

Am I right? We’ve all been there. When one of my readers responded to an article last week, I asked her: “How’s it going?”

She said: “Am doing well. Been interesting times figuring out which direction to go to next in my life journey.”

Last week I talked to a friend who was in the same position. And everyone will face the same challenge one way or the other over the course of a long career.

I’ve been there many times as well. No one is immune to being confused. Let’s face it — there are literally a million things you can do with your life.

And most of us realize that we can’t do everything we want. We also have to understand that anything that’s worth it in life is hard to obtain.

Great health, wealth, and happiness don’t happen by themselves. If you want good things to happen, you must take massive action.

But what type of action? What should you do?

I want to share 2 strategies with you that I’ve personally used in the past to figure out my next big move.

1. Burn Your Bridges

“Education is all a matter of building bridges.”
— Ralph Ellison

Look, I can’t tell you want to do with your life. No one should decide that other than you.

But I can tell you about ways that help you to make a decision. People are lazy by nature. If it was up to us, we would protect the status quo, sit at home, and eat cookies all day.

We must realize that without a reason, we will never change.

“But what if I don’t have a reason?”

Force a reason.

I always wanted to live and work abroad for a while. And year after year went by without me taking action.

So in 2014 I got fed up with my indecisiveness. I canceled the lease of my apartment, handed over all my responsibilities at our family business, and FORCED myself to do something.

Lo and behold, I did. A few weeks later I was on my way to London with an awesome job offer in my pocket from an IT research firm.

You can’t expect good things to happen when you’re living a cushy life. You need a spark. Sometimes that happens from the outside (a family loss, being fired, dumped, etc).

But if nothing happens, you have to create the spark by burning your bridges.

Instead of wanting to change, you must change.

You can also burn the bridges in your mind. To grow, we must say goodbye to old beliefs.

2. Do Nothing

“Not all those who wander are lost.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien

I don’t mean ‘eat cookies all day.’ No, I mean don’t try to force anything. It’s the exact opposite strategy of burning your bridges.

“Darius, you’re contradicting yourself.”

So? Life is full of contradictions. Get used to it.

Look at your life. Have you tried burning your bridges? Didn’t work out? Try a different strategy.

I never get why people get all hung up on opposing strategies. Life is dynamic and requires you to adapt all the time.

When I came back to The Netherlands after working abroad for 1,5 years, I didn’t exactly know what I wanted to do. I still had my business, so I didn’t have to worry about money.

But I also wasn’t satisfied. I wanted to do something that mattered. But because I didn’t know what, I just didn’t force anything. I knew I needed a different strategy this time.

So I did my job, spent time with my friends and family, worked out a lot, and just enjoyed my life.

I just stopped worrying and thinking about my next move. That’s very liberating.

And after six months or so, I figured it out. I can tell you how I did it, but that’s not going to help you because you have to figure out how YOU are going to do it.

And that’s the most important thing about figuring out your next move. It’s called ‘figuring it out’ for a reason. It’s not called ‘here’s your life path served on a platter.’

Just be okay with that. It’s about the journey anyway. You better enjoy every step along the way. Especially the difficult ones.

 

 

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2 comments

  1. Oh boy. I needed to read this. Right now I’m going through a huge upheaval at work, or rather, my company is. I’ll probably be made redundant next week. I know if I don’t find a replacement job straight away it’s going to be a bit of financial struggle. The thing is, I’ve hated the job since I started there almost 2 years ago. My boss is the worst kind of boss you could imagine. He’s a micro manager who undermines me, talks to me like I’m a piece of dirt and doesn’t seem to value anything I do, despite having less work experience than myself and most of my colleagues. Frankly, I would rather work elsewhere but no matter how many times I’ve sent my CV away or how many interviews I’ve had in the past, I just haven’t been able to find something else. But you know what, despite my fear that I won’t find something quickly, I’m also kind of excited. Because it means not dealing with him and not being treated like crap every day. I keep thinking, the universe is trying to shake me lose of all that nonsense that I should never have put up with in the first place. I just wish I could stop worrying! Hopefully I figure out my next move soon.

    1. Darius has a pdf on job searching. Additionally, the widely quoted book about job searching is “What Color Is Your Parachute?” by Richard N. Bolles. He has been putting out an edition a year for a long time. He is a bit in your face about his religious views which turned off a friend of mine. For me though I just powered through to the content I was interested in at the time.

      Your mileage may vary, but if you can grab the book from the library, you aren’t out anything other than a bit of time to see if you would find it useful.

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