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I used to be a chubby kid. Most people thought that was cute. But it got out of hand when was in my early teens.
At age 15 I weighed 230 pounds (105 kg). I was fat. Three years later, I weighed 55 pounds less and I was bench pressing my old weight.
The truth is that being overweight sucks. And if you want to change, you need a reason. At that age, I wanted to impress girls. So I dropped the weight. It was surprisingly simple once I put my mind to it.
Here we are. It’s December and another year is almost coming to an end.
I always disliked December and the holiday shenanigans. Especially when I worked in sales. People are always desperately running around trying to hit their targets.
And at the same time, there are holiday parties and celebrations. It’s pretty superficial. We all expect presents and put on our new clothes.
And somehow there’s always drama in December. Relationship issues. Family feuds. You name it.
But for the past two years, I’ve been taking a very different approach. When most people are partying and focused on closing the year, I retreat. I’m focused on planning the upcoming year.
I know what you’re thinking. “This guy probably read a motivational quote on social media and now he’s telling us that nothing is impossible. Yeah right.”
I think the world has no shortage of motivational articles, books, videos, or Facebook posts.
You don’t need a bigger dose of #mondaymotivation. You know why? That type of motivation is not practical. It doesn’t do anything. It’s not useful. It’s the same as drinking Red Bull. It fades quickly.
Belief, on the other hand, is a tool that’s extremely useful. And it’s underutilized by many.
Who does the most work in the office? Who gets the most attention? Who did most of the cleaning in the house? Who bought the most presents? Who called who the most?
The answer is this: No one cares about the silly scorecards inside your brain.
When people keep score, there’s only one outcome: Resentment.
Studies show that we often overestimate our contribution. In social psychology, that’s called the Egocentric Bias.
The term was first used by Michael Ross and Fiore Sicoly in a 1979 study. The researchers found that nearly 75% of married couples overestimated their contribution to the relationship. They looked at stuff like cooking, making decisions, causing arguments, any other things that are a part of relationships.